After a few minutes, I settled on a target. I’d started getting attention as soon as I walked in, but that was because of my super tight Vinnie’s T-shirt rather than my face. I was no one’s beauty. Pretty enough had been Darren’s favorite description of me.
I’d always wondered why had he pulled the car over beside me that day. He’d given me reasons, but they still didn’t explain why he hadn’t searched for someone who was so much more than pretty enough. Someone he couldn’t have broken as easily as he’d broken me.
But I’d never asked. I just sat there and smiled like the soulless doll I’d become. Pretty enough shell, empty insides. Now my shell wasn’t so pretty anymore, yet I still used it to accomplish what I needed to.
My gaze landed on a muscular football-player type standing with a bunch of his buddies. Though he had short hair and a nice smile, I wouldn’t have cared if he looked like Hannibal Lecter. I wasn’t all that fussy when I was on the warpath to rip out someone’s heart.
Not that I assumed Fox had anything but the most basic of lustful feelings in my direction. We’d only known each other a handful of days, and he was a player. I’d harbored a lot of delusions over the years, but even I drew the line somewhere.
This would only sting him for a couple minutes, if that. If he even saw. And we’d both be better off for my acting quickly to nip…this, whatever the hell it was, in the bud.
The weird thing about the lies I told myself? Sometimes they tasted exactly like the truth.
“Hey there.” I smiled at the football dude. “What’re you drinking?”
Chapter Twelve
Tray
I knew what she was doing. She’d go all the way with a stranger just to get me to back off. A girl like Mia wouldn’t settle for a conversation when she could offer a live demonstration of her disinterest. She’d pull down some guy’s zipper right in front of me if necessary.
But she didn’t understand me or my reactions. I’d been the kind of kid who ran up to danger signs and tried to figure out how to scale the fence to reach what I was supposed to avoid.
Mia’s warnings were foreplay to me. Just a tease. And the guy she was currently feeling up with absolutely zero subtlety? Merely a human speed bump.
I sipped my beer from where I’d settled back to watch the show. She thought she had me handled. Too bad she’d miscalculated her opponent.
Somehow, she disappeared from my line of sight. That didn’t worry me at first. Then the minutes dragged on, and an emotion I hadn’t experienced much since I’d moved away from home kindled in my gut. Fear. I’d stopped being afraid when I walked out my father’s door. I still grew concerned about my mother’s safety now and then even if she didn’t, but I’d filed their domestic issues away in a box labeled do not touch.
Up until the day I left home, worry had been my constant companion. For my mom, for me. My father had never laid a hand on me, though I’d always expected that to change. If I believed in shrinks, mine would probably say I fought for the sole reason of beating my father over and over again. In a place no one could stop me, where I could win.
He’d probably be right.
I pushed off the stool and prowled through the bar like a tiger off its leash. Amazingly, I hadn’t started growling yet. Where the hell was she?
I stalked to the side door and pulled it open, my ears prickling at the moans that drifted toward me. Stiffening my shoulders, I stepped into the alley and glimpsed a couple who were humping—dry now, wet soon—near the street. One sharp sound from me and they adjusted their clothes and headed down the block.
The noises continued. I narrowed my eyes on the shadowy figures near the back of the alley. One stood, hunched over. The other knelt, barely a ghoulish shadow in the dark.
She still wore my fucking jacket.
Rage burned away the coppery taste of fear in my throat. Not because she wore my coat while she blew some dude to get back at me for—
What? Daring to like her? For seeing her as more than this?
No, that wasn’t it. I got that she had issues. What made me angry was that she’d risk herself. She knew this jacknozzle even less than she knew me. He could be some kind of lunatic, and she’d come out alone with him into an alley?
Yeah, yeah, she was a big time fighter. All well and good if the guy didn’t cut her ear to ear before she had a chance to get into position. Was pissing me off really worth compromising her safety? If so, she sure had some screwed-up priorities.
“Mia,” I said in an undertone, knowing she could hear me. Hell, she’d probably been timing her suckfest to my arrival. “Get off your fucking knees.”
Their uneven breathing broke the silence. Then came a low curse. “Dude, this isn’t your business.”
“She’s my business.” She hadn’t moved by the time I made it over to them. “And if you want to use your dick again, you’ll get out of here before I tear it off and shove it up your ass.”
“Fox, relax.” Mia jerked to her feet and gestured. “His pants aren’t even open.”
I made myself take a quick glance. She’d only gotten as far as unbuttoning the last few buttons on the bastard’s shirt, a fact for which I’d be forever grateful. The idea of her wrapping her battered lips around his flesh made me want to turn his skull into a macaroni casserole. With extra sauce.