After all those years on the outside—just beyond the boundaries of Lily’s family, and practically an orphan, for all intents and purposes on my own—I’d never yearned as much as I did at that moment.
“Hey.” I crouched at her side and she shifted, sending JC tumbling backward into the cushions with a colorful litany of curses.
She blinked at the sight of the paper towels. Her gaze dropped to her breasts and the sticky remnants of what I’d done. Rather than seeming disgusted, she gave me a sexy little smile and dragged her index finger through a drop near her nipple.
My cock twitched as she licked it off, but I didn’t smile back. I was on lockdown again, every errant emotion in her direction caged up until I figured out what to do about them.
If I ever did.
My non-reaction didn’t go unnoticed. Her smile faltered and a wrinkle formed between her brows. I didn’t want to see worry take over her face, so I made myself aim my attention at her breasts. I cleaned them up quickly, not allowing the reality of what I was doing to pierce my brain. If I had, my semi would’ve turned into a raging erection in no time at all, just from looking and touching Lily’s beautiful tits with the damp towel between us. The thin paper wasn’t enough to keep me from feeling her soft curves and hard nipples.
And there was no missing the change in her expression. The way her lips parted and a little gasp escaped as I brushed the towel over her nipple. As I dragged it upward to clean off the pulse visibly throbbing under her skin.
She wanted me, still. Even after everything. I couldn’t process it. I wasn’t supposed to be her lover. Our roles had been cast years ago. I’d never deviated, not once.
Until tonight.
I stood and went back into the kitchen to dump out the towels. I waited a few minutes, and eventually, I heard the sounds of them moving around. Getting dressed.
God, I hoped they were getting dressed.
Keys in hand, I returned to the living room, unsurprised to walk in on them kissing. She was leaning up on her tiptoes and his hands were on her ass, holding her against him while he laughed into her mouth. Without breaking the kiss, he tilted his head toward me.
I looked away.
She moved back and turned her smile on me, dazzling me for that moment before she registered my lack of smile in return. Then she took a long, shuddering breath.
“Time to go?” Her voice was soft, tremulous.
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat and passed my keys from hand to hand. “It’s late.”
I didn’t have to finish the statement. Your dad will be worried.
Clearly, he was right to be. His mistake had been in ever trusting me. I’d thought I loved her enough to make sure I didn’t do anything that could harm her. Temporary pleasure didn’t make me the right man for her. But I’d not only not stopped it, I’d participated. Willingly.
I could still feel her satiny lips wrapped around my dick, for fuck’s sake.
“I don’t want this to be the end.” She looked from JC to me and back again. “I can’t imagine just doing…this once and going back to the way things were.”
“Me either.” JC moved behind her and clasped her shoulders as he brushed a kiss over her head. “I’m not nearly done with the two of you yet.”
Closing my eyes felt like a kind of defeat. I couldn’t face them both and my own longing and remain unaffected. Even Lance’s voice in my head couldn’t force me out of that room.
She’s all I have in this world. Since she lost her mother, I’ve had to be her everything. But now I know you’ll protect her too. I know you’ll never let her down.
I couldn’t breathe around the boulder sitting on my windpipe, and I definitely couldn’t tell them that I wanted more too. Needed it.
So I just opened my eyes and nodded.
Six
Another Saturday night, and I was waiting for Emerson to pick me up again. Except everything had changed.
Especially me.
I sat next to my dad on the couch, worrying the strap of my purse between my fingers as we watched another fight on TV. I hadn’t wanted to arouse his suspicions by dressing provocatively, so I’d worn tight jeans and a thin sweater. Underneath my clothes was where I’d gone wild.
Well, wilder.