I can’t tell if she’s teasing me or not. If it were Smith, I’d be able to figure it out in a heartbeat. But Smith isn’t doing much talking tonight. He’s more of a silent observer, eyes scanning the bar so he can warn off unsuspecting fae before they dare to approach. His distraction means I’m on my own with the rest of his rabble. For some bizarre reason, I find myself wanting to impress them; perhaps if I can, it’ll make Smith happy.
Herne and the hunters, what’s become of me?
“We are celebrating the end of term, aren’t we?” I ask, checking the faces of the group around me for clues.
“Yep,” Herman agrees, turning back after watching a pair of whispering kitsune pass.
“And you let me tag along without complaining.”
“True,” Sue agrees with a warm smile. “Friends do that.”
The word surprises me. “Friends?”
From his chair, Smith chuckles. “What, you thought we were just hanging out with you because you’re the PAD?”
Words aren’t coming and my throat is strangely tight. “Um...”
Smith straightens a little in his seat, eyes narrowing. “Lyne?”
“Well, I may have assumed that was common practice...” I trail off, face burning under my glamour when they stare at me with a mixture of horror and amazement. “Isn’t that why you’re all being so quiet tonight? Because you didn’t expect me to come here with you?”
Sue’s the first to speak. “While it’s nice that you have clout and wealth, you were our friend once you decided to help Finny. And we’re a little quieter because—” She glances around and thinks for a moment before speaking again. “Well, you haven’t had a night off before, so we didn’t know what to expect.”
“What do you normally do?”
“Talk. Make dumb bets. You know, enjoy each other’s company,?
? Sebastian says.
“I don’t know any of you very well,” I admit.
“Not for our lack of trying,” Herman grumbles.
Sue elbows him hard, which makes Smith snicker. Once she’s sure Herman won’t speak again, she glances at me. “That’s not true. You’ve been around us for a few years now, even if we weren’t close. I bet you could order for us and get our drinks right without having to ask what we want.”
“I don’t understand.” And I don’t. I don’t know why she’s glancing around the table and why they’re all smiling and nodding like they’ve discovered some huge secret that I’m not in on.
“Come on, Prince Lyne,” Sebastian says, jumping in with Sue. “Order for us. We’ll let you know how you did. Consider this a bet between friends.”
Pride and fear war behind my chest. What if I order wrong? They’re offering to be friends. Telling me that this is what friends do. I’ve never had friends like that, not really. It’s an easily exploited vulnerability. Mother used to say having friends didn’t matter, as long as others respected and feared me.
I went to Mathers to fulfill the expectation held for royal children of all Pantheons, to make myself a social bargaining chip so our Winter Court could find allies. Then Smith came along, and my world narrowed itself again. Six years later, I expected I’d be returning to the sídhe alone to fulfill the rest of my duty.
Except, through Smith, I may instead leave with a handful of acquaintances who judge me based on the miserable person I am and who I could be, instead of my potential value to increasing their social standing.
I’ll have plenty of opportunities later to destroy what little trust they put in me. Tonight, I want this connection and these first delicate sprouts of hope. I want it so badly my palms start sweating.
My vulnerability must show on my face because Sue urges, “You can do it.”
“Yeah,” Herman says. “You have good taste. Order us anything.”
Sebastian and Gumba both nod eagerly.
I breathe past the tightness in my chest and linger for a moment on Smith. “Yours as well?” I ask.
His smirk and the jaunty tilt of his head put up a good front. But his eyes are full of kindness and trust and pleasure. The way his gaze lingers over me cuts like a knife. “Let’s see how well you know me.”
“You’d be surprised,” I mutter as I head for the bar, waving off Herman’s offer to go with me. Of all the drinks I have to order, Smith’s is the one I don’t even have to think about. I already know exactly what will sum up how I see him.