“Garret is out getting us both white dress shirts,” Jet said, pouring himself another cup of coffee. “I didn’t expect to need one, so I didn’t pack for this. But after yesterday, I figured we would be having an impromptu celebration of some kind tonight. Either a wedding or a birthday party. I’m fine with either. Both will have cake, I’m sure.”
“I mean, it is my birthday,” Nova complained. “Shouldn’t I have a say in any of this on my day?”
Cali snickered, but she spoke directly to Jet. “Garret told Maria to make a cake as he was leaving earlier, actually. I guess he had the same thought that you did.”
Pop grunted. “Samara is going to be so pissed that we didn’t bring her now.”
“I miss Samara. We should wait until she’s with us.” Nova squirmed, trying to get free, but I slapped her ass again. “And Ciana.”
“Be still,” I ordered. Refusing to let thoughts of Ciana ruin this moment, I nuzzled my lips against Nova’s neck. She shivered and made a soft mewling sound, snuggling closer.
“I’ll video call Samara during the ceremony,” Mom dismissed with a wave of her hand, her tears already drying. “And then we can have a huge reception with the entire family when we get home. I don’t think she will mind much anyway. Not when we will be bringing her a sister back with us. That’s all she’s ever cared about anyway.”
Nova huffed against my neck. No one was paying her the least bit of attention, speaking over her every time she even opened her mouth. I shifted her more comfortably in my arms. “It sounds like you have this under control. Excuse us while my bride and I have a long-overdue conversation.”
“Take your time, sweetheart,” Felicity said as she and Mom moved to sit on the empty couch. They angled their heads over Mom’s phone while Cali left to speak to Guzman about getting the priest.
Keeping Nova wrapped around me, I turned and left the room. “I don’t like you leaving our bed without me,” I informed her as I climbed the stairs. “Next time, wake me so I know where you are.”
“Oh, so I need your permission to leave your side. Is that how it’s going to be now?” She huffed again. It was equal parts adorable and infuriating. “Don’t turn into a controlling asshole, Ryan. If you do, we’re going to have some serious problems.”
I tried to squash my rising frustrations, but after she’d said she wasn’t going to marry me, there was no holding it back. “You left me, Nova,” I gritted out. “I spent months thinking you were dead, missing you so bad it literally hurt to breathe at times. I need you at my side until this fear of losing you starts to ease.”
She squirmed in my arms, trying to get down, but someone would have to pry her from my lifeless arms before that ever happened. Reaching the door to my room, I kicked it open then made sure it was locked before crossing to the bed and carefully sitting her on the end.
“I didn’t leave you on purpose. They took me. I don’t even remember how I got here.” She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring up at me. “I tried to tell you all about it, but you never even called me back. I begged you, Ryan. So many times, until my throat felt like it was bleeding from screaming at you in those voice mails. And you didn’t even give me two seconds of your time.”
“Because I thought you were someone who worked for Sheena, trying to fuck with my head! She wanted me to suffer, Nova. Every day, from the moment my biological mother died, she made it her goal to hurt me as much as possible. She must have been planning the attack for years. Fuck, she’s probably in hell right now, chuckling it up, thinking I’m seconds away from swallowing a bullet because I can’t live without you.” I scrubbed a hand over the scruff on my jaw.
The agony I’d felt every time I’d seen a Colombian number pop up on my phone was just below the surface. I would never forgive myself for not answering those calls now, but at the time, it was all I could do to make it through each day without her. “Anyone who knows me is well aware that the only way to hurt me is through you. Hearing your voice would have given me hope, and then I would have once again been left with this gaping hole where my heart should have been when whoever was pranking me laughed and told me how stupid I was to think you were anything but six feet under.”
“Y-you wanted to kill yourself?” she whispered shakily.
“Yes,” I told her honestly, knowing it would hurt her, but unable to lie. Not to Nova. “Every day, as soon as I opened my eyes after leaving you behind in my dreams yet again, that was the first thought that would go through my head. To just end it. To die and then fight my way to wherever you were in the hereafter. But then I would think of how disappointed you would be in me, and then I would picture how upset Mom would be, and I would just suffer through another day. Because I couldn’t do that to either of you.”
Her sobs were like a gut punch, worse than any hit I’d taken in the weeks I’d fought in the underground cage fights. They knocked the air from my lungs, made my legs unsteady as I stood over her and watched the tears spill down her beautiful face. “I-I was so angry with you, Ryan. With everyone. I didn’t think about what you were going through. I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.”
I dropped to my knees in front of her and cupped her damp face. “There is nothing to forgive. All that matters is that we’re together again. I just need you to understand that every minute I don’t have my eyes on you is a minute I can’t take a deep enough breath. I know I’m already possessive and a little controlling. This need to protect you at all costs has only intensified now that I have you back. I know how independent you are. It’s one of the million things I love so much about you.” I kissed each tear away. “But when I lost you, I lost control. I need it back, baby. Please, just bear with me for a little while until this eases.”
She released a shuddery breath. “O-okay.” She gave in without further argument on the subject, and I actually began to relax.
“But what about this whole getting married today nonsense?” She leaned back enough to frown at me. Even on my knees, she was so small that we were at
eye level, and I felt as if I were looking straight into her soul. Fuck, she had me so tangled up that all I wanted to do was sit and look at her for hours. “You can’t be serious—”
My kiss stopped the flow of words, unable to hear her say she wouldn’t marry me again. When I lifted my head, I pressed my thumb to her swollen lips, keeping her from speaking. “I am very serious. You are going to be my wife before the end of the night. Don’t argue with me, Nova.”
She argued with me anyway. “It’s not what you want. I know it isn’t. You’ve told me before that you wanted a real wedding. That’s why you wouldn’t even listen when I suggested eloping.”
“I said I wanted the people we love the most with us. With your dad walking you down the aisle and our moms sobbing as we said our vows,” I reminded her. “The location and size of the ceremony had nothing to do with it. My thoughts were of the memories we would make with our families.”
“Well, what about a dress?” she said, her bottom lip pouting out. “You said you wanted me to have a wedding dress, and I don’t have one yet. I don’t even have an engagement ring. Plus, you said you would ask me, and you haven’t asked once. Just started demanding.”
“Nova,” I growled, trying—and mostly failing—to ignore that damn quivering, protruding lip. “Wear whatever dress you like. Wear jeans and a T-shirt. I don’t care. But we are getting married this evening.”
52
Nova