The Crazy Rich Asians Trilogy

CW: They really piled it on, didn’t they? What did you think of all those tiaras?

ALT: I don’t think a woman should wear a tiara unless it’s been in her family for several generations.

CW: Not sure if you look at our gossip columns, but there is this fool named Leonardo Lai…

ALT: Haha, yes! My cousin Cecilia just sent me the article.

CW: Leonardo obviously had NO CLUE who you were and couldn’t even get your name right, but he’s apparently concerned that you don’t have enough jewelry. LOL!

ALT: I’m so glad he misspelled my name! Mum would be furious to see me in the gossip columns. I guess Leonardo wasn’t impressed by pieces from the actual Imperial collection—my earrings used to belong to Dowager Empress Maria Feodorovna.

CW: Of course they did. I noticed them immediately—they looked like something I would have bought you back in our London days, from that little vintage jewelry shop in the Burlington Arcade that

you loved poking around in. You were the best-dressed woman at the ball, no contest.

ALT: You’re too sweet. But come on, I did not go all out like some of those Hong Kong fashionistas who wore specially commissioned gowns in the style of Catherine the Great or whomever.

CW: You’ve always dressed to please yourself—that’s precisely why you looked great. You and Kitty Pong, of course.

ALT: You’re funny. I actually thought she looked fantastic! Her dress was very Josephine Baker.

CW: She was naked except for all those feathers and emeralds.

ALT: The dress worked. But stealing the spotlight from Francis Poon was rather shameless. I was afraid poor old Francis was going to have a heart attack when she rushed onstage and grabbed the microphone from him while he was trying to make his speech!

CW: Ada Poon should have jumped up and slapped Kitty Pong just like any good third wife would.

ALT: She was too weighed down by all that jewelry to do any jumping.

CW: I really do wonder what’s happened to Bernard Tai. Why is Kitty everywhere but he’s not? Is he even still alive?

ALT: She’s probably got him chained up in a dungeon somewhere with a ball gag in his mouth!

CW: Astrid Leong! You shock me!

ALT: Sorry, I’ve been reading too much Marquis de Sade lately. Dare I ask where YOUR wife was? Am I ever going to meet the legendary Isabel Wu?

CW: Isabel is too snotty to go to events like these. She only goes to two or three of the old-guard balls every year.

ALT: LOL! Old-guard balls. I don’t even want to tell you what just came into my head!

CW: Sir Francis Poon?

ALT: You’re terrible! Oh—my cousin’s waving me over. It’s boarding time.

CW: Why you still fly commercial I’ll never understand.

ALT: We’re Leongs, that’s why. My dad thinks it would be shameful if the family is seen flying private since he is a “public servant.” And he claims it’s far safer in a big commercial airliner than in a small one.

CW: I think it’s much safer on your own plane, with a dedicated ground crew. You get there in half the time and feel less jet lag.

ALT: I don’t ever get jet lag, remember? Also, we don’t have Charlie Wu $$$.

CW: That’s a funny one! You Leongs could buy me for breakfast any day. Anyway, have a good flight.

ALT: Nice chatting. Next time we’re in HK, I promise I’ll give you more notice.

CW: Okay.