The Crazy Rich Asians Trilogy

For those of you who have been following the scalding scandale involving tech billionaire Charlie Wu’s wife Isabel that almost caused an international incident between Malaysia and Hong Kong, fasten your seat belts, because boy do I have some shockers for you! We all know that Charlie and Isabel announced their separation in 2013, and informers tell me they’ve been privately negotiating the terms of their divorce ever since. At stake is a share of the Wu family fortune, their heritage mansion on Peak Road, and custodial rights of their two daughters. But a close friend of Isabel tells me, “It’s been terribly hard for Isabel. She suffered her recent breakdown because of the emotional stress of the divorce and that other woman involved.”

Yep, you heard that right. SHOCKER NUMBER ONE: Daily Dish can now confirm that that other woman is none other than Astrid Leong Teo, the model-pretty wife of hunkalicious Singaporean Venture Capitalist Michael Teo (who I think missed his calling as a Calvin Klein underwear model) and mother to a seven-year-old boy, Cassius. Yes, Charlie and Astrid have been having a torrid, secret affair for the past five years, and in fact, SHOCKER NUMBER TWO: that incredible Tom Kundig–designed house currently under construction in Shek O that everyone thought was Leo Ming’s new private museum is actually going to be Charlie and Astrid’s love pad once they can legally shack up! (Astrid and Michael Teo are apparently headed to divorce court too.)

The stunning seductress Astrid may be an unfamiliar name to Hong Kong readers, but she has an extraordinary backstory: According to my trusted Singapore insider, Astrid is the only daughter of Harry Leong, who officially is the chairman emeritus of the Institute of ASEAN Affairs. Unofficially, he’s one of Singapore’s most influential political power brokers who—my sources tell me—also happens to head S. K. Leong Holdings Pte Ltd, the secretive corporate behemoth that is rumored to own the Bank of Borneo, Selangor Mining, New Malaysia Post, and Palmcore Berhad, one of the world’s largest commodity traders. And that’s not all—Astrid’s mother, Felicity Young, hails from one of Singapore’s most pedigreed families. “The Youngs are in their own stratosphere. Cousins to the T’siens, the Tans, and the Shangs—they are related to practically everybody who’s anybody, and Felicity’s mother, Shang Su Yi, owns Tyersall Park, the largest private estate in Singapore,” my insider reports.

Schooled in London and Paris, Astrid moves in the most rarefied circles and counts among her friends deposed European royals, A-list fashion designers, and celebrity artists. “How can Isabel compete with that? Izzie isn’t some filthy-rich heiress—she has an important career as a legal advocate for Hong Kong’s poor and downtrodden and is busy raising her two daughters, not jet-setting around the world, sitting in the front rows of fashion shows. No wonder she would suffer a breakdown! Of course Charlie would be swept up by the ultra-glamorous life of Astrid—he was seduced by her once before.”

Which leads us to SHOCKER NUMBER THREE: Back in their college days, Astrid and Charlie were actually engaged, but the union was broken off by her family because the Hong Kong Wus weren’t deemed worthy enough by those snooty Singaporeans! It seems like the star-crossed lovers have never gotten over each other, which has led to this big ugly mess. Stay tuned to Daily Dish for more shockers to come!

Astrid sank into a chair, trying to collect herself after reading the incendiary column. She was so upset, she didn’t even know where to begin. “Who sent you this?”

“What does it matter who sent it? The news is everywhere now. Everyone knows your marriage is on the rocks, and that you are at fault!” Felicity moaned.

“Come on, Mum. You know it wasn’t my fault. You know how careful and discreet I’ve been for the past couple of years as we’ve been working out the divorce. This article is nothing but a stream of inaccuracies and lies. When have I ever sat in the front row of any fashion shows? I’m always backstage helping out. Look, they even got Cassian’s name wrong.”

Her mother looked at her accusingly. “So you’re denying everything? You’re not having an affair with Charlie Wu?”

Astrid let out a deep sigh. “Not for the past five years! Charlie and I have only been together for about a year and a half—and this was after I left Michael and Charlie filed for divorce from Isabel.”

“Then it is true! That’s why Isabel Wu would go berserk and try to attack you! You broke up her marriage…you broke up her family!” Felicity muttered through her tears.

“Mum, Isabel Wu’s marriage t

o Charlie has never been a happy one. I had nothing to do with their breakup. If you want to know the truth, she has been cheating on him for many years, with numerous men—”

“That still doesn’t give you any excuse to be Anna Karenina! You’re still being unfaithful! You’re both still married to other people under the eyes of the law and God! Goodness me, what will Bishop See think when he gets wind of all this?”

Astrid rolled her eyes. She didn’t give a rat’s ass what Bishop See thought.

“So now what? You’re going to move in to that ‘love pad’ with Charlie after the divorce and live in sin?”

“That’s the other lie…it’s not our love pad. Charlie started building that house long before we ever got together. He bought the land after his first separation from Isabel—four years ago!” Astrid took in a deep breath and steeled herself—it was the time to come completely clean with her parents. “But I suppose you should know that Charlie and I do intend to get married when our divorces are finalized, and I will likely be spending more of my time in Hong Kong.”

Felicity looked at her husband in horror, waiting for him to react. “You suppose we should know? You’re planning to get married this year and you only tell us now? I cannot believe you would actually marry Charlie after all this. Disgraceful…so disgraceful!”

“I really don’t see what’s so disgraceful about this, Mum. Charlie and I are in love. We’ve both acted entirely honorably throughout a very difficult time. It’s just unfortunate that Isabel had another breakdown, that’s all.”

“That breakdown! Those obscene things she said about you in front of the whole world—I have never felt so humiliated in all my life! And those poor ladies! How can I ever look the Sultan of Perawak in the face again? We almost killed his poor mother.”

“Auntie Zarah is just fine, Mum. You saw it yourself—her hijab was so encrusted with diamonds, hardly anything got through. She was more in shock because the laksa wasn’t halal.”

“That Charlie Wu—this is all his fault that our names are being dragged through the mud!” Felicity continued to rage.

Astrid sighed in frustration. “I know you’ve never liked Charlie or his family—that’s why you broke us up in the first place all those years ago. But things have changed now, Mum. No one cares about their lineage and all that nonsense anymore. The Wus are no longer considered nouveau riche. They are an establishment family now.”

“Establishment my foot! Wu Hao Lian’s father used to sell soy sauce on a bicycle!”

“That may be how they started out, but they’ve come a long way since Charlie’s grandfather’s time. Charlie has created one of the most admired companies in the world. Look at your new phone—the screen, the casing, I’m sure at least half the components are manufactured by Wu Microsystems!”

“I detest this phone! I never know how to use this stupid thing! I swipe and swipe and instead of making a phone call, some silly video of an Indian granny singing ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’ keeps appearing on my screen. I have to ask Lakshmi or Padme to make every damn call for me!” Felicity was seething.

“Well, I’m sorry you still don’t know how to use your smartphone. But that has nothing to do with how the Wus are perceived these days. Look how much money Mrs. Wu gives to that church on Barker Road—”

“Those Wus are frightfully common, and they prove it all the more by giving an obscene amount of money to that church. They think their dirty money can buy their way into heaven!”

Astrid just shook her head. “Stop being unreasonable, Mum—”

“Your mother is not being unreasonable,” Astrid’s father cut in, speaking up for the first time that morning. “Look at what’s happened. Until today our family was able to enjoy the privileges of total privacy and anonymity. The Leong name has never appeared in the gossip columns, much less something as silly as this…this…I don’t even know what to call this idiotic Internet thing.”