Luna looked up and clos
ed the book she’d been reading. “That’s a morose expression on your face, mi amante. I have to admit I was disappointed to receive your text late in the afternoon. Thank heaven you’re home safely. I worried something might have happened to you.”
“Something did happen,” he muttered. “Before I say anything else, I need a shower.”
“Rini—”
The terror in Luna’s voice didn’t stop him. Rini tore off his clothes and got under the water. Ever since he’d been flown back to Asteria, he’d wished he could wash away this creature he’d become. Last night in talking to his grandparents, he’d felt depression descend because he couldn’t remember anything about his former life.
Now he had to face the woman who’d been responsible for keeping him alive body and soul. He couldn’t comprehend that a feat of that magnitude had even been possible.
He stayed under the spray until the hot water turned tepid. It wasn’t until he realized nothing but cold water poured down that Rini shut off the taps and reached for his robe. Forget shaving. That could wait for another time. The talk with his wife couldn’t.
Close to midnight, he entered the bedroom. Luna sat on the side of the bed in her robe, waiting for him. Her gilt-blond beauty with those beguiling green eyes never failed to stun him. She smiled. “The hot water must have run out long ago. If you hadn’t made an appearance in another minute, I planned to come in after you.”
Rini moved closer, needing to steel himself for what had to be said. “It was insensitive of me to stay in there so long. To compound my sins, not only was I late getting home and that frightened you, I also left you with unanswered questions. You would never do that to me.”
She shook her head. “Rini—what’s going on inside you? You’re being positively mysterious.”
He cocked his head. “Maybe that’s because I am a man of mystery.”
“An exciting one.” The chuckle he loved escaped her lips, making this moment that much harder for him. Before long she wouldn’t be chuckling.
Over the past few days, he’d tried to adopt Dr. Tullia’s rule after being in a few sessions with him.
Don’t impose on her what you believe are her assumptions about you. Be honest with her. Let her tell you her honesty.
But he couldn’t follow the doctor’s advice to be patient any longer. It was time to express his feelings that were ready to burst.
His heart thudded. “There’s only one way for me to say this. I want a divorce.”
She didn’t move a muscle. Only shock could have caused the color to drain out of her complexion. But he’d started this, and now he had to go on even though it was killing him.
“There was a moment in the mine when I wished there’d been another quake.” A small gasp escaped her throat. “If miracles were being handed out, I would get hit in the head again and awaken the same man I’d once been.”
“Don’t even think it!” she cried.
“You’re not in my skin, Luna.”
Another muffled sound came from her. A shudder shook her beautiful body. “I don’t know how you dared venture inside.”
“You know why.”
“Darling,” she whispered.
“I didn’t belong down there, Luna, and have no wish to put those men through that agony again. Or you.”
She clasped her hands. “You think I’m in agony?”
“I know you are,” he bit out. “You think I didn’t understand what went through your mind when you learned I’d completely lost my memory? We were both strangers to each other. I’ll never live up to your expectation of who I used to be. I don’t want to try. I’m exhausted trying to reinvent myself. It’s not working.”
Spots of color stained her cheeks. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Oh, yes, I do. Like I told Doctor Tullia, you’re an angel. Too perfect. You never make a misstep. When we vowed to love each other for better or worse, we didn’t know I would turn into the amnesiac I’ve become. You deserve to start over again with someone who will fall in love with you.”
“Because you’re not in love with me?” she fired at him.
“I’m not worthy of you, Luna. You need to be free. Since the moment I woke up in the hospital in Rezana, I’ve clung to you. My total selfishness has made your life a living hell.”