She relaxed a little. “Good plan.”
Deciding he’d spent too much of his life giving her space, he pulled her against him and took her face in his hands so that he could look into her eyes.
Her eyes, he’d discovered, were the only way he stood a chance of understanding what she was thinking, and right now they were wide and shocked.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m focusing on the present.” Step by step, he told himself. Slow and easy. “Come sailing with me tomorrow, Fliss. Just the two of us. The way we used to.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because—” she gave a helpless shrug “—first you say you want to focus on the present, and now you want to wind back the clock?”
“No. I don’t want to re-create what we had back then. I want to discover what we have now.” He saw the anxiety in her eyes turn to panic.
“We don’t have anything now. Whatever we had is in the past!”
“Is it? Have you been serious about anyone since me?”
“What?” Her lips parted. “Well, I—I don’t—”
“I haven’t either. There’s been no one.”
“Are you telling me you haven’t dated for ten years? Because I’m not going to believe you.”
“I’ve dated.”
“Me, too. I’ve been on plenty of dates since you and I broke up. I live in Manhattan! Part of the most exciting city in the world. New York has more hot guys than you can throw a stick
at.” The sass was back, and he held back the smile.
Because it was getting harder and harder not to kiss her, he let his hands drop. He lowered them to her shoulders, but that didn’t help ease the ache, so he released her.
“I think you might be getting the guys mixed up with the dogs. Are you telling me you’ve dated every man in New York?”
“Not every guy. There might be a couple of guys in Brooklyn who haven’t had that good fortune.”
“And yet here you are—single.”
She scowled at him. “What are you suggesting? You think the fact I’m single has anything to do with you?”
“Does it?” He had the satisfaction of seeing her flustered.
Her mouth—that mouth that he couldn’t stop thinking about—opened and closed. “Definitely not. Marriage just isn’t on my bucket list, and you’re letting the whole ‘I’m a veterinarian’ thing go to your head.”
“Who said anything about marriage? I’m single, too.”
“Are you blaming me for that? Are you saying I damaged you for life?”
“Not damaged, no. But when you’ve had something really good, it can be hard to settle for less.”
The sound of her breathing mingled with the soft sound of the ocean.
“What we had was pain.”
“What we had was good. And we let circumstances, and other people, damage what we had. You talk about blame, but I blame myself for that.”