Her grandmother put the sugar and flour back in the cupboard. “And what happens when she isn’t? How does she cope?”
Fliss frowned. “That doesn’t happen. I do the accounts and all the new business contacts, anything she finds stressful. She handles the animals and all the dog walkers. We each do the things we’re good at.”
“If you only ever do the parts you’re good at, how will you ever grow and improve? Take your cooking skills as an example. Your pancakes are perfect,” her grandmother said, “which proves that with patience and practice we can become good at things.”
“You’re suggesting I tell Harriet to do the accounts and call a hundred strangers? She’d freak.”
“I’m suggesting we are always capable of more than we think.”
Fliss had a feeling her grandmother wasn’t talking only about Harriet.
“That may be true. I haven’t burned anything in a week, have you noticed?”
“I’ve noticed a lot of things. Like the fact you’ve never stopped protecting your sister.” Her grandmother moved the bowl out of reach before Fliss could help herself to more. “Also that you’re busy and your paperwork is all over my kitchen table. You might like to move it before we cover it in apple peelings.”
Fliss tidied the papers and moved them from the table to the countertop. “Of course I protect her. I’m her sister.”
Her grandmother said nothing. Instead she peered at her recipe. “I need six eggs. Could you break them into a bowl for me?”
“Sure.” Fliss found the eggs while her grandmother dropped a stick of butter into the bowl. “That’s what sisters are supposed to do, isn’t it?”
“You’re saying she protects you, too?”
“No. I’m the oldest.” Fliss broke eggs into a bowl and studied the result with satisfaction. “See? A month ago I would have spent hours picking out shell. Now, no shell. Are you proud of me?”
“You know I’m proud of you. Always have been.”
“I didn’t know that until you said it the other day.”
“I should have told you sooner. I remember sitting here biting my tongue while your father said you were useless, and that you’d never amount to anything.”
Fliss disposed of the eggshells. “I remember that, too. I remember Mom saying he should be proud of me, and him saying that if I gave him something to be proud of then he’d be proud.”
“And you’ve been trying to make him proud ever since. Setting up the business. Growing it. Some of that was for yourself, and some for your sister, but I’m sure a large part of the motivation came from a drive to prove your father wrong.”
She thought about her visit to the hospital. “He doesn’t even know. Certainly doesn’t care.”
“I’m not talking about proving it to your father. I’m talking about proving it to yourself. You drop enough acid into the pool, eventually you’re going to poison the water.”
Fliss stared at her, the blood thrumming in her ears. “What do you mean?”
“Those things your father used to say to you—some of them stayed, didn’t they? Like an infection that wouldn’t heal. Those words sank in, and you’ve been trying to prove him wrong ever since. You might want to think about that. And you might want to stop listening to that voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough, that Seth deserves better because he couldn’t get better than you, that’s a fact. Start looking at the person you are, not the person your father made you think you might be.”
Fliss swallowed.
Was her grandmother right? Was that how she looked at herself?
For years she’d told herself that every choice she made, every decision and path she followed, had been driven by a desire to convince her father he was wrong about her.
The truth was, she’d been trying to convince herself.
* * *
SETH HAD A quieter day than he’d expected. He could have stayed at home and answered calls from there, but he opted to catch up with paperwork in the clinic. He had one urgent call to deal with a cat who had been hit by the wheel of a bicycle, and another to deal with a dog who had swallowed a child’s button. Other than that, it was remarkably calm.
Tanya, his partner, arrived early. “You’re spending too long in this place.”
“You’re here, too.”