She thought about it. “I guess she might drive you a little insane after a while. She probably wouldn’t fight with you. And fighting keeps you young.”
The corners of his mouth flickered. “When I lost my father, I realized I didn’t want any more relationships where I didn’t feel enough. Relationships that felt like a compromise. Settling.” His gaze held hers. “The moment I worked that out, I ended it with Naomi. I was honest. I knew what I wanted. Who I wanted.” His gaze locked on hers, and Fliss felt her knees turn liquid.
“Dammit. Keep going and you’ll have me feeling sorry for her.” She stooped and hugged Lulu again, holding her close, taking comfort from her warm body. “Vanessa said you were looking for the same relationship your parents had. That you’d never find it.”
“I’d already found it.” His voice was soft. “I found it years ago, but I was stupid enough to let it go. There’s never been anyone but you, Fliss, and when my father died I knew, I knew, that I had to find you, and find out whether there was anything there. Life is too short and precious to fill a single moment of it with ‘what if?’ So I took the job in Manhattan.”
“Why didn’t you just bang on my door?”
“Because I knew that wouldn’t work. I’ve had ten years to think about what happened. Ten years to focus on all the ways I screwed up.”
“I was the one who—”
“We both screwed up. But we’re not doing that again. So here’s my hundred percent. I love you. You have to believe that I love you. You have to trust me on that one.”
Her heart was so full she could hardly speak. “I do believe you. I do trust you. I love you. One hundred percent, I love you. And I’m far more scared of losing you than I am of telling you that.”
For the first time since she’d walked into his house, he smiled. “Then how about letting go of my dog and showing me?”
Fliss kept her arms round Lulu. “I love your dog.”
“I love her, too. She will always be part of our family, but right now I’d rather she took a backseat. This isn’t her moment.”
“Our family?”
“Yes. That’s what we are. It’s what we’re going to be.”
Her head spinning, she gave Lulu a final kiss and stood up.
The next moment she was in his arms and Seth was kissing her.
“I’ve always loved you.”
“It was sex—”
“And then it was love. So much love I didn’t pause long enough to think about whether I was moving too quickly. Whether what we had was strong enough to stick. When I lost you, I didn’t know how to live with the pain. You say you felt guilty, I felt even more guilty. I got you pregnant, we lost the baby. I was hurting. I knew you were hurting, too, but I didn’t know how to reach you.”
“If I’d been braver and shared more, maybe we wouldn’t have broken up. But I really felt that without the baby there was nothing to hold us together.”
“A baby isn’t glue, Fliss. Plenty of couples have a baby thinking that will fix a rocky marriage, and then wonder why it never does. Invariably it makes things worse. Love is the glue. Love is what holds a relationship together through good times and bad.”
“I’ve spent my whole life protecting myself, and I never thought about the other side of that. That by not letting people in I blocked love as well as hate.” She eased away from him. “I had a fight with Harriet earlier. The first fight I can remember us having since we were kids. Actually it was less of a fight than her yelling at me. She gave me the full hundred percent. Told me how hurt she was that I wouldn’t confide in her, that I protected her. I hardly recognized her, but she got me thinking and I realized she was right.”
“Did she tell you she came here?”
“Harriet? What? No. When?”
“Earlier. She threatened me, and I can tell you your sister is scary when she’s angry.”
“Angry? You must have that wrong. Apart from the one fight we had earlier, Harriet is the kindest, gentlest person on the planet.”
“That’s what I thought and I’m sure that’s true, except in certain circumstances.”
“What circumstances?”
“When she thinks her sister is in trouble.” He tightened his arms around her. “She stepped in front of you. She stepped, and she wasn’t moving until she’d made me promise I wasn’t going to make you cry. In the interest of full disclosure and the one hundred percent, I thought I should mention it. She probably doesn’t want you to know she came, so don’t tell her.”
“And Vanessa probably doesn’t want you to know she called, so don’t bring that up either.” She leaned her head against his chest. “I want to know what you’re thinking. I want to know what’s in your head. All of it.”