New York, Actually (From Manhattan with Love 4)

“Always helping other people with their relationships. How about your own? And I’m not talking about Valentine.”

“I have plenty of men in my life, Dad. I have a packed schedule. Tuesday and Friday is salsa dancing, Thursday is spin class, Wednesday is cooking class, Monday is theater group—there are men at all those places.”

“But you’re single.”

“That’s right. It’s because I’m single I can do all those things.”

“Relationships are important, honey. You’re the one who always told me that.”

“I have relationships. I had supper with Gabe and Mark a few nights ago. Mark is taking an Italian cookery class. His tortellini is incredible, you should taste it.”

“Gabe and Mark are gay.”

“So? They’re my closest friends.” Although she’d never truly tested that friendship, of course. She’d discovered to her cost that the test of true friendship was whether you were willing to stand by someone being named and shamed. She seriously hoped she never had to test that out again. “And friendship is a relationship. They’re great listeners and very happy together. It’s good to be around them.”

“You know you’re a hypocrite? All those years you tried to pair me up with someone and told me to take the risk, but you won’t take the risk yourself.”

“That’s different. I didn’t like seeing you on your own. You have wonderful qualities that were crying out to be shared with someone special.”

“You have wonderful qualities, too, Molly.” He made a little sound. “Still feels weird calling you that.”

“It’s my name, Dad.”

“But not one we ever used until you moved to New York. Do you feel like Molly?”

“I definitely feel like Molly. I like being Molly. And I share Molly’s qualities with a bunch of people who appreciate them.”

A sigh reverberated down the phone. “I worry about you. I worry this is all my fault. I feel responsible.”

“You’re not responsible.” It was a conversation they’d had numerous times over the years, despite the fact that in the weeks and months after her mother had left, Molly had only ever cried in the bathroom where her father couldn’t witness her distress. The rest of the time she pretended she was coping well because she hadn’t wanted to make it worse for him. It was hideously unjust, she thought, that he felt guilty about something over which he’d had no control.

“Carly read your book. She thinks you have abandonment issues.”

“She’s right. I do. But I came to terms with that a long time ago.” Molly picked up her pen and started doodling on the pad next to her desk. Maybe she should get a coloring book. They were the latest non-medicinal stress reliever. She glanced at Valentine. “Maybe I could use a black marker pen and join your dots.”

“What?” Her father sounded confused. “Why are you using marker pen?”

“I’m not. It was a joke. Dad, you need to stop worrying about me. I’m the psychologist in this relationship.”

“I know, and I know people talk to you about everything. But who do you talk to, honey? Do something for me. Go on a date. Do it for me.”

“Do you have anyone in mind? Or should I just grab the first person I meet on the street?” She thought about the man in the park with the wicked blue eyes and the sexy smile. Just thinking about him was enough to get her heart pumping a little harder.

“If that’s what it takes. Just get out there. Get your confidence back. In all those things you go to, you’re telling me you haven’t met a single man who has gained your attention?”

“Not one.” Molly glanced at Valentine, pleased that he couldn’t talk. If he could, right now he’d be calling her a liar. “So where are you and Carly going next?”

“Traveling north to Oregon. We’re going to hike part of the Pacific Crest Trail.”

“Have fun and send me photos.”

“Carly has started a blog, You’re Never Too Old to Be Bold.”

“I’ll take a look. And now I need to go, I have a ton of work to do. Go and be bold. Only try not to do it in public. And give Carly my love.” With a smile, she ended the call and returned to her computer.

She was happy being single. And if that seemed like a strange admission for someone who specialized in relationships, she didn’t care. These days she separated her work life from her real life.

Her mind wandered back to the guy in the park. For a few forbidden seconds she wondered what it would be like to be with a man like him and then she snapped herself back to the present.