‘It didn’t feel right to be drinking champagne in wet trousers.’ He handed her a glass. ‘She’s asleep?’
‘For now. I don’t think she’ll wake up. She’s exhausted.’ She sipped the champagne. ‘It was a lovely wedding. For what it’s worth, I like Diandra a lot.’
‘So do I.’
She lowered the glass. ‘Do you believe she loves him?’
‘I’m not qualified to judge emotions, but they seem happy together. And I’m impressed by how willingly she has welcomed Chloe.’
She slipped off her shoes and sat on the sunlounger. ‘I think Chloe will have a loving and stable home.’
He sat down next to her, his thigh brushing against hers. ‘You didn’t have that.’
She stared at the floodlit pool. ‘No. I was a really sickly child. Trust me, you don’t want the details, but as a result of that I moved from foster home to foster home because I was a lot of trouble to take care of. When you face the possibility of having to spend half the night in a hospital with a sick kid when you already have others at home, you take the easier option. I was never the easy option.’
He covered her hand with his. ‘Was adoption never considered?’
‘Older children aren’t easy to place. Especially not sickly older children. Every time I arrived somewhere new I used to hope this might be permanent, but it never was. Anyway, enough of that. I’ve already told you far more than you ever wanted to know about me. You hate talking about family and personal things.’
‘With you I do things I don’t do with other people. Like attend weddings.’ He turned her face to his and kissed her. ‘You had a very unstable, unpredictable childhood and yet still you believe that something else is possible.’
‘Because you haven’t experienced something personally, doesn’t mean it doesn’t e
xist. I’ve never been to the moon but I know it’s there.’
‘So despite your disastrous relationships you still believe there is an elusive happy ending waiting for you somewhere.’
‘Being happy doesn’t have to be about relationships. I’m happy now. I’ve had a great time.’ She gave a faint smile. ‘Have I scared you?’
He didn’t answer. Instead he lowered his head to hers again and she melted under the heat of his kiss, wishing she could freeze time and make this moment last for ever.
When she finally pulled away, she felt shaky. ‘I’ve never met anyone like you before.’
‘Cold and ruthlessly detached? Wasn’t that what you said to me on that first night?’
‘I was wrong.’
‘You weren’t wrong.’
‘You reserve that side of you for the people you don’t know very well and people who are trying to take advantage. I wish I were more like you. You’re very analytical. There’s another side of you that you don’t often show to the world, but don’t worry—it’s our secret.’
His expression shifted from amused to guarded. ‘Lily—’
‘Don’t panic. I still don’t love you or anything. But I don’t think you’re quite the cold-hearted machine I did a week ago.’
I still don’t love you.
She’d said the words so many times during their short relationship and they’d always been a joke. It was a code that acted as a reminder that this relationship was all about fun and sex and nothing deeper. Until now. She realised with a lurch of horror that it was no longer true.
She wasn’t sure at what point her feelings had changed, but she knew they had and the irony of it was painful.
She’d conducted all her relationships with the same careful, studied approach to compatibility. David Ashurst had seemed perfect on the surface but had proved to be disturbingly imperfect on closer inspection whereas Nik, who had failed to score a single point on her checklist at first glance, had turned out to be perfect in every way when she’d got to know him better.
He’d proved himself to be both honest and unwaveringly loyal to his family.
It was that honesty that had made him hesitate before finally agreeing to take her home that night and that honesty was part of the reason she loved him.
She wanted to stay here with him for ever, breathing in the sea breeze and the scent of wild thyme, living this life of barefoot bliss.