Christmas Ever After (Puffin Island 3)

“You don’t have to apologize. Everything is changing—our lives are changing.”

“But we’re still there for each other. Always.” Emily spoke quietly and Brittany cleared her throat.

“Sky, please. Whatever it was you wanted to talk to us about and we were too stupid and self-absorbed to listen to, tell us now.”

There was silence. “My whole life I’ve wanted to be in love. Really in love.”

“We know.” Emily bit her lip. “Is it hard for you, because Brittany and I are with Zach and Ryan?”

“No! I’m happy for you.”

“But it has made it even more difficult that you don’t feel that way yourself.”

“I do feel that way. That’s why I had to leave.”

It was their turn to be silent.

Brittany glanced at Emily, who gave a bemused shrug.

“Sky, if you’re going to tell us you suddenly woke up and realized you were in love with Richard—”

“No.” Sky’s voice was barely audible. “Not Richard.”

“But—” Brit transferred her gaze from Emily to the phone. “Are you saying—?”

“That big love I wanted to find? I found it. Except that it isn’t how I imagined it because he doesn’t love me back.”

Emily dragged the phone back toward her. “Are you crying?”

“No! I’m not that pathetic. But I needed to get away while I sort my head out because I don’t want him to know and I wasn’t sure I could hide it.”

“Why would you have to hide it?” Brittany’s gaze locked with Emily’s. “Are we talking about Alec?”

“Yes. But I don’t want him to know. It’s very important he doesn’t know.”

“Why?” Emily rubbed her fingers over her forehead. “Maybe he feels the same way.”

“He doesn’t. You know he doesn’t. You were the one who warned me to be careful. And I wasn’t worried, because to begin with I didn’t think this could possibly happen. We were only ever having fun, that’s all. That’s what we agreed. I’m the one who changed the rules.”

“Rules?”

“It was never supposed to be serious. And I know it doesn’t make sense, so don’t waste time telling me that. You’ll say I’m on the rebound, or you’ll point out that we spent all summer sniping at each other, but these last couple of weeks … well, it’s been the best time of my life.”

“We could see you were having fun, but—” Emily swallowed. “You love him?”

“Yeah. And I know it’s crazy because back in the summer I would have killed him as soon as kissed him but now … because I wasn’t trying to please him, I was myself. Really myself, for the first time ever. And I had fun. I felt free. I love him for so many reasons, but the biggest one is because he makes me happy.”

A sound in the doorway made both girls turn.

Alec was standing there, his face white as he stared at the phone on the table.

Brittany made a grab for it but he crossed the room in two strides and trapped her hand in an iron grip, shaking his head.

Emily swallowed. “Sky, we should talk about this another time—”

“No. I want to talk about it now. I can’t tell him, but if I don’t tell someone, I’ll go mad. The crazy thing is that all the things he keeps apologizing for are the things I love about him. I love that he gets so absorbed in a piece of work he forgets that I’m there. I’m exactly the same. It used to drive Richard crazy because I’d get an idea and instantly want to work on it and he wasn’t like that. I’m a spontaneous person. And Alec is like me. He’s spontaneous. He hates to be trapped and so do I. That’s how it felt with my parents all these years. They made me feel trapped. I was trapped trying to be this person they wanted me to be and I’m just not that person. And I don’t want to be that person anymore.”

“That’s great,” Brittany said, her eyes on Alec’s ashen features. “But—”