First Time in Forever (Puffin Island 1)

“He is the nearest thing I have to family. And Jackson, of course. It makes me very happy to think he will marry you soon. And Elizabeth and dear Alice. And Tyler is like a brother to me, even though sometimes I want to punch him. It is normal for siblings to sometimes want to punch each other, I think. I love you all with every bone in my body.” The dark side of Élise’s life was carefully locked away in the past. Loneliness, fear and deep humiliation were a distant memory. She was safe here. Safe and loved.

“And Sean?” Kayla lifted an eyebrow. “Where does he fit into your adopted family? Presumably not as another brother.”

“No.” Just thinking about him made her heart race a little faster. “Not a brother.”

“So you won’t be telling him you love him? Aren’t you worried he might feel a little left out?”

Élise frowned. “You are not funny.”

“Is this a good time to warn you he’s coming home?”

“Of course he is coming home. He is an O’Neil. The O’Neils always stick together when there is trouble and Sean hasn’t been home for a while.”

And she was worried that was her fault.

Was it because of what had happened between them?

“So it isn’t going to feel awkward when he shows up?”

“Why would it feel awkward? Because of last summer? It was just one night. It’s not so hard to understand, is it? Sean is un beau mec.”

“He’s a what?”

“Un beau mec. A hot guy. Sean is very sexy. We are two adults who chose to spend a night together. We are both single. Why would it feel awkward?” It had been her idea of the perfect night. No ties. No complications. A decision she’d made with her head, not her heart. Never again would she allow her heart to be engaged.

No risks. No mistakes.

“So seeing him isn’t going to bother you?”

“Not at all. And it isn’t the first time. I saw him at Christmas.”

“And neither of you exchanged a single look or word.”

“Christmas is the busiest time of year for me. Do you know how many people I fed in the restaurant? I had more important things to worry about than Sean. And it is the same now. We probably won’t even have time to say hello. All he thinks about is work and I am the same. It is only a week until the Boathouse Café opens and at the moment it doesn’t have a deck.”

“Look, I know how much this project means to you—to all of us—but it is no one’s fault that Zach crashed his dirt bike.”

Élise scowled. “He is their cousin. Family. He should have shown more responsibility.”

“Distant cousin.”

“So what? He should have finished my deck before he crashed!”

“I’m sure that’s what he told the boulder that jumped into his path.” Kayla gave a fatalistic shrug. “He has O’Neil DNA. Of coure he is going to indulge in dangerous sports and have accidents. Tyler says he’s lethal on a snowboard.”

“He should not have been indulging in anything lethal until my deck was finished!”

“So does that mean Zach has been struck off the list of people you love?”

“You make fun of me but it is important to tell people you love them.” It wasn’t just important to her, it was vital. Sadness seeped into her veins and she breathed deeply, trying to block the spread. Over the years she’d learned to control it. To keep it locked away so it didn’t interfere with her life. “I should never have let Walter step in. It is because of me he is lying there all full of tubes and needles and—”

“Stop!” Kayla pulled a face. “Enough.”

“It’s just that I keep imagining—”

“Well, don’t! Talk about something else?”

“We can talk about how I have ruined everything. The Boathouse Café is important for Snow Crystal. We have included the projected revenue in our forecasts. We have a party planned! And now it cannot happen.”