Some Kind of Wonderful (Puffin Island 2)

“Because there are limits to what folks are prepared to deal with, and I was way beyond those limits. After that I was in and out of foster homes and residential care.”

She was silent. “I should never have pushed you to get married. I should have known, guessed, that after everything that had happened to you, you couldn’t trust. I should have known it wouldn’t work for you.”

“I wanted it to work. Marrying you was my one attempt at having a normal life. At being like other people. As if by marrying you I’d merge my background with yours and somehow wipe out who I was and where I came from. I thought you might be the cure.”

“If I’d known you felt that way, if I’d understood, I would have realized that we needed more time so that you could learn to trust me.”

“That wouldn’t have happened.”

“Because sometimes not trusting keeps you safe. Is that it? That’s what you said about Travis.” There was a long silence and then she moved closer. She curled into him, resting her head on his shoulder and curving her arm around him. “I’m sorry.” Her voice was choked. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what? None of it was your fault.”

“Yes, it was. I’m sorry for not looking deeper. For not encouraging you to talk about your past, even a little bit. I was so sure of us, so confident that we could withstand anything. I told myself that I was protecting your privacy. I was naive and ignorant.”

“My past wasn?

??t your problem.”

“How can you say that? From the moment we met, it became both of our problems. The present is built on the past and we can never really understand it until we dig down, layer by layer. Instead of ignoring it, I should have talked to you.”

“You’re beating yourself up over nothing. I wouldn’t have talked to you.”

“Because you didn’t trust me, but maybe if we’d talked properly you would have understood that you could trust me. Was that what went wrong with us? Were you keeping yourself safe, Zach? Did you think you needed to protect yourself from me? If we’d talked, would we still be together?” Her voice was clogged with tears and he felt the tension rush through him.

“Don’t cry. I hate it when you cry. And none of this was your fault. I blew it.”

“That’s not true. I was blind. I wasn’t a good friend to you.”

“We were lovers.”

“But we were friends, too. I should have come after you. Even if we couldn’t work our marriage out, I should have been there for you. I should have tried harder.”

He stroked his hand over her hair, feeling softness and silk. “This wasn’t an exam, honey. It wasn’t something you could study for and get top grades in. Nothing you did would have changed anything.”

“Do you really want to walk in the rain or can we go back to bed?” She lifted her head to his and kissed his mouth gently and he tasted the salt of tears on her lips.

He could feel the warmth of her. Her hair slid over his arm, tickling his skin. “Nothing is going to change, Brit. I’m not going to change. If you’re a smart woman, you’ll walk out of here and not come back.”

“That just shows you don’t know as much about women as you think you do, because no smart woman would turn her back on sex this good.”

Despite everything, she made him smile.

“If Kathleen had known the things we did in that cottage when she was out at her knitting group—”

“I’m sure she knew. We talked about everything.” She gave him a mischievous smile. “Okay, maybe not everything, but most things. She warned me about you.”

“Of course she did.” He wondered why hearing that bothered him so much. “She was a good woman and she was protecting you. She was right to tell you to stay away. You should have listened.”

“She didn’t tell me to stay away. She would never have done that. But she did tell me that she didn’t think someone like you would be able to open up.” She paused. “She was worried you wouldn’t be capable of intimacy. At the time we were finding ways to get naked on every available occasion so naturally I thought I had sufficient evidence to disprove her theory. I didn’t realize she was talking about emotional intimacy.”

“So knowing all that, you’re still sitting here? How do you explain that, Dr. Forrest?”

“I know a good thing when I see one.” She stood up, stripped off her clothes again and climbed onto his lap. Her hair slid forward, forming a dark frame around her wicked golden eyes. “We might be crap at marriage, Flynn, but we’re good at this.”

“This” was her pushing him back on the bed, guiding him into her and taking him deep in a series of slow, lascivious movements of her hips.

His body was devoured by smooth heat and the breath hissed through his teeth. She gave him a knowing smile as she moved slowly, running her hands over his chest and lower.