He knew what she wanted him to say.
He could see it in her eyes and feel it in the heavy, syrupy silence that was an inevitable consequence of what had just happened.
And he wanted to say something.
He wanted to apologize for not having given her the sex she deserved, for having lost his rhythm, his ruthless control, his mind.
He wanted to assure her that next time he’d get his head together and be back to his normal self. Wanted to tell her to wait around for an hour and he’d be sure to get his performance back to normal levels.
He opened his mouth to say something and then she reached up and delivered a lingering kiss to his mouth.
“That,” she said softly, “was the best sex of my life.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“THERE WAS SOMETHING about the way he looked at me. For a minute I thought he was going to say I love you. How crazy is that?” She was with Emily and Skylar, and they’d opted for a picnic on the beautiful sandy curve of Shell Bay. A little distance away from them Lizzy was playing with Cocoa on the sand. The child threw the ball and the little dog bounded after it, skidded to a halt and then sprinted back with it locked firmly in her teeth while Emily watched them both closely.
“You mean you wanted him to say it.” Skylar foraged through the various treats while Brittany sprawled on her stomach on the blanket.
Apart from a family on the far side of the beach, they had Shell Bay to themselves.
“Maybe I did. Yes, okay, I admit it, I did.” She gave a groan of frustration and rolled onto her back. “Three little words, that’s all. How hard is it to say three little words?”
“It depends on the words. He’s not the first person to have a problem with those particular three.”
Brittany lifted her hand to her mouth and started to chew the edge of her nail and then let her hand drop as she caught Sky’s eye. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s true that I don’t see the point in ruining your nails over a man, but nor do I think you’re crazy. You two have been pretty cosy. Spending a lot of time together.”
Emily unwrapped meat they’d bought from the deli. “I don’t want you to be hurt the way you were hurt before.”
“That was then and this is now. It’s different.”
“He’s the same guy, Brittany.”
“Yes, and I loved that guy! I loved his resilience, his strength, the fact that despite everything—and I didn’t even know what everything was then—despite everything, he never lost his humanity or his kindness. And it is different now. He’s dealing with things differently. He’s talking. He’s opening up. We’re close.”
“Naked close.” Today Sky was wearing a dress of cerulean blue which she’d teamed with bold silver earrings. With her long golden hair and blue eyes she looked like a summer flower. “Naked close isn’t the same as emotional close.”
“That’s right. Sex is sex, but a relationship is intimacy,” Emily said slowly. “It’s about knowing someone and allowing them to know you back. That’s the really scary part.”
“You’re talking as if he’s a stranger. We were married for God’s sake!”
“Were you? Really? You exchanged vows and rings—” Sky caught Brittany’s eye and gave a faint smile. “Okay, maybe not a whopping diamond or anything—”
“It was a cheap ring from a gift store. I bought it.”
“Whatever. You wouldn’t have cared about that if you’d had something real and sustainable. The problem was that you never really shared anything of yourselves.”
“That’s what I’m telling you. Now we are. And emotional close makes everything different. Better. People evolve. Nothing stays the same.”
“Well, then, that’s good,” Emily said firmly and Sky nodded.
“Really good. Yay.”
Brittany looked at her friends and gave a humorless laugh. “You’re both crap at hiding your feelings. You don’t think it’s good. You think this is going to end in tears.”
“We care about you, that’s all. And we’re hoping he’ll say those words soon.”