‘Maybe.’ Her tone was wistful. ‘Well, anyway, it sounded like an idyllic place. A good place to bring up a child. And not as expensive as London.’
He wanted to know more about what had happened to her family.
It was clear that, if her family were alive, they wanted nothing to do with her. Or she wanted nothing to do with them. Jake tried to imagine sticking a pin in the map and then deciding to build a life in a strange place. Tried to imagine what it would be like to have no roots. ‘All right, I can understand you choosing the Lake District, but what made you choose that terrible flat?’
‘It was all there was at the time and it was cheap,’ she said simply. ‘It’s just me on my own and when the baby comes I’m not going to be able to work for a while so I don’t want to waste any of it now. I’m going to look for something else soon. Somewhere I can move to after the baby is born.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘How much are you paying in rent?’
She named a figure that seemed exorbitant for one dark room full of damp patches but he managed not to let his jaw drop. ‘Right. Move in with me and you can save even more money.’
‘You can’t be serious.’
‘I’m perfectly serious. Why not?’ He waved a hand around the house. ‘This place is far too big for me and you’d be much more comfortable here.’
‘No.’ Her voice cracked and something fierce flashed in her eyes. ‘I don’t need anyone’s help. And I don’t depend on anyone.’
She was ferociously independent and he sensed that if he didn’t handle the situation with enormous care, she’d be back in her damp flat before he had time to dispose of the empty pizza box. He leaned back in his chair, stretched his legs out and kept his voice calm and steady. ‘That’s good, because I don’t want you to depend on me. I’m just suggesting that you move into one of my spare rooms. You can pay me the same rent you’re currently paying your landlord.’
‘Absolutely not.’ But he’d seen the brief hesitation and took instant advantage.
‘Why? You’re prepared to pay rent to a total stranger in return for a room.’
‘That’s different.’
‘How is it different?’ His voice was gentle and he watched her face for her reaction. ‘Is it different because we kissed?’
She put the glass down and looked away from him. It was clear that, given the chance, she would have pretended that it hadn’t happened. ‘It wasn’t a real kiss. It was Christmas Day, we were both lonely and—’
‘Attracted to each other?’
Colour seeped into her cheeks. ‘You can’t possibly be attracted to me.’
‘No?’ The fact that she hadn’t denied her own attraction to him gave him more satisfaction than he would have believed possible. He wondered if he dared risk moving towards her but decided against it. ‘Why can’t I be attracted to you?’
‘I’m six months pregnant.’ With another man’s baby. The words hung in the air, unsaid, and he gave a patient smile.
‘And?’His gaze didn’t shift from her face. ‘None of the books I studied said that pre
gnancy changes a person. You’re still you.’
‘A very fat version of me.’
The fact that she suffered from all the usual insecurities suffered by pregnant women made him want to smile. ‘You’re a midwife. You should know that most men find their wives extremely attractive during pregnancy.’
‘I’m not your wife.’
His desire to smile faded. He should have been relieved about that. Instead, he found himself thinking how amazing it would be if she was his wife. He’d have the right to snuggle up with her and kiss the frown away from her beautiful face. ‘That’s true, but—’
‘I’m not anyone’s wife and I don’t ever intend to be.’ The fire was back in her eyes. ‘I don’t want a family.’
Was this just about the man who’d lied to her or was there something more to her comment?
His eyes slid from her fierce gaze to her softly rounded abdomen. ‘I hate to tell you this, sweetheart, but you’re about to become a family, whether you like it or not.’
She placed her hand on her stomach in an instinctively defensive gesture. ‘That’s entirely different. I want this baby, but I don’t—’
‘There’s no such thing as a typical family, Miranda.’ He took a gentle nudge at her fears and prejudices. ‘Everyone creates something different. Family is a pretty generic word for people living together and trying to make it work in the best way they can.’