‘I’m not expecting a response to what I just said.’ He stood up and flicked on the kettle. ‘You asked me about my ideal woman and I told you.’
‘But that’s ridiculous.’ Her voice was hoarse. ‘Why would you be interested in me? What could I possibly have that you want?’
He turned to face her, dark lashes partially shielding the expression in his eyes. ‘You don’t have a very high opinion of yourself, do you, sweetheart?’
‘I just don’t see why a man like you would be interested in a woman like me. It doesn’t make sense.’
‘A man like me?’ He raised an eyebrow in question. ‘What sort of woman should a man like me be interested in, Miranda? Tell me. I’m intrigued to know.’
She took a deep breath. ‘You’re clever and good-looking, you don’t need me to tell you that. You must have hopeful women trailing after you in droves. You certainly don’t need someone as—’ She broke off and hesitated. ‘Complicated. You don’t need someone as complicated as me.’
‘You’ve worked with me for long enough to know that I thrive on complicated. I find routine and predictability unspeakably boring.’ He smiled. ‘Finish your dinner, Miranda, and stop worrying.’
She ignored her food. ‘I need you to know that nothing is going to happen between us. Not ever. I just don’t—’
‘It’s already happened and you know it.’ His voice level, he spooned coffee into a cafetiere and picked up the kettle. ‘There’s a connection between us that we cannot possibly deny, but I understand that this is a big thing for you. So we’ll just live with it for a bit and see where our relationship goes. I’m a patient man.’
‘Patience has nothing to do with it and our relationship isn’t going anywhere!’ There was a note of panic in her voice. Why wasn’t he listening to her? ‘And what do you mean, it’s a big thing for me? Given that you’re in your thirties and single, it would seem a reasonable guess that a relationship is a big thing for you, too.’
With a sigh he leaned forward and removed the redundant fork from her numb fingers. ‘It’s big, yes. Of course it is. But I’m not scared of commitment. And I’m only single because I’m very, very choosy.’
‘Have you ever been in love?’ The question flew from her lips before she could stop it, and he paused for a moment.
‘Yes.’ His voice was quiet. ‘Once.’
‘What happened?’
His hesitation was fractional. ‘Before I could say anything to her, she fell in love with another man. Chances are it wouldn’t have made a difference if I’d spoken up earlier, but I made a promise to myself that if I ever met another woman who affected me as much as she did, I was going to tell her straight away.’ He stabbed some food onto the fork and held it to her mouth. ‘Eat, sweetheart. The baby needs it even if you don’t.’
Why did the moment seem so impossibly intimate? The words he’d just spoken? Or the look in his sexy blue eyes or the fact that he was feeding her with her own fork? Whichever, she felt warm colour touch her cheekbones.
If he was choosy, why had he chosen her when she surely possessed none of the attributes that he was likely to look for in a prospective partner? She wanted to ask about the other woman. The woman he’d been in love with. But she was all too aware that she was probing into his life while revealing nothing about her own.
Why did she want to know about him?
Why was she interested?
Confused and unsettled, she took the fork from his hand and finished the food on her plate, knowing that he was right that she needed to eat. The fact that she didn’t feel hungry was irrelevant.
It didn’t matter that he was patient, she told herself as she chewed listlessly. And it didn’t matter that he thrived on complications. It didn’t even matter that he’d been honest and told her how he felt. Their relationship wasn’t going anywhere. All right, so there was chemistry there, she’d be a fool to deny it. But chemistry didn’t make a firm foundation for a relationship. Nothing did.
There was no way she’d risk ever exposing her child to a relationship that would inevitably go wrong.
Not even with a man as seductively attractive as Jake Blackwell.
CHAPTER EIGHT
WHY did he always fall in love with unobtainable women?
Working his way through a busy antenatal clinic the next morning, Jake found his attention wandering back to the previous evening.
Of all the women he’d ever met, he’d never encountered one as complex and wary as Miranda. How could a woman be both spirited and fiercely independent and yet touchingly vulnerable at the same time? What had happened in her past to score such deep wounds through her confidence? What had created that determined independence? Genetic make-up or the influence of family?
There was obviously something in her past, something that she refused to reveal. It was impossible to move forward, to counter her fears and anxieties, when he didn’t understand the cause. He was determined to find out more about her. Determined to give her the confidence to open up and confide in him.
Patience, he reminded himself as he checked a set of blood results that one of the midwives had handed him. Patience. Hopefully, given time, she’d be able to trust him. In the meantime, he was going to make sure that they spent as much time together as possible.
Given that they were working and living together, it proved gratifyingly easy.