Miranda shook her head and tears spilled down her cheeks. ‘She’s not fine. She has a mother too young to look after her and no father. What is her life going to be like?’ She scrubbed the palm of her hand over her cheek and he frowned, helpless to know what to say.
‘Angie seemed like a really nice girl and her mother was—’
‘Angie is nothing more than a child, Jake!’ She interrupted him, her voice fierce and her eyes glistening with more tears. ‘A child! She should be playing with her friends, doing exams and dreaming about her future, instead of which she’s going to be living the life of an adult. Do you have any idea what it’s like, being a mother at the age of sixteen?’ Her voice shook. ‘Having a baby is daunting at any age but at sixteen it’s nothing short of terrifying. So much responsibility when you’re nothing more than a child yourself. And your whole life is suddenly violently rearranged. You can’t do any of the things you should be doing. Instead of studying, you’re changing nappies. Instead of going out with friends, you’re pushing a pram. So you become isolated and lonely and no one really understands because all the teenagers you know are studying or partying and all the mothers you know are in their thirties, married with other children. No one is like you.’ She broke off, her chest rising and falling, and he studied her face and wondered.
Even for an extremely tired, pregnant woman, her reaction was a little too emotional. ‘We’re not talking about Angie and Bonnie any more, are we?’ He reached across the table and grabbed the box of tissues that was stacked on top of a pile of unopened post.
She took the tissue he offered her, blew her nose and then looked away. ‘Ignore me—it’s been a long and stressful night. I should probably go back to bed.’ Her nose was blocked up, her dark lashes were damp from crying and he just wanted to cuddle her.
‘You’re never going to sleep in this state. You need to get it off your chest and then perhaps you’ll be able to relax. Talk to me, Miranda. Tell me what’s on your mind.’ He hesitated and then decided to take a risk. ‘I’m wondering why you care so much and I’m wondering why you know so much about it. Did it happen to you? Were you that mother you described so eloquently?’
‘The mother?’ She stared at the table and then at him. ‘I wasn’t the mother, Jake. I was the baby.’
His was silent for a moment, his eyes fixed on her pale face. ‘You’re—’
‘My mother had me at sixteen. I was the baby.’
It made sense, of course. The reason she’d been so desperate to find Bonnie’s mother. The way she’d understood Angie’s situation. ‘You were abandoned?’
Miranda reached for a tissue and blew her nose hard. ‘I was luckier than Bonnie. My mother put me in a box covered in towels. Apparently I was in quite a good condition when I was found. She even wrote a note.’
Something twisted inside him but he fought the impulse to drag her into his arms. He knew that, right now, she needed to talk. ‘And they traced your mother?’
She nodded. ‘Oh, yes. It was all very embarrassing for my grandparents. Treasured only daughter suddenly going off the rails. They’d had such high hopes for her. She was top in her class and very pretty. The world was out there, just waiting for her to conquer it. Only she made a mistake and I came along.’ She was silent for a moment, thoughtful. Then she gave a bright smile that was entirely false. ‘But they did the right thing. They took me in and brought me up. I lived with them until my mum married Keith.’
‘Was he your father?’
‘No. Mum never said who my father was. Maybe she didn’t know. Have you any idea how that feels?’ She looked at him, her expression strangely blank. ‘Sometimes I look in the mirror and I search for him. I think to myself, Are those his eyes? Do I have his mouth? Having no idea where you came from is a strange feeling.’
‘But your mum did get married.’
‘Oh, yes, she did very well for herself. Keith was a barrister. Great job. Public figure. Very well respected. On the outside, we looked like the perfect family.’ The bitterness in her tone was unmistakable and Jake looked at her, a feeling of foreboding building inside him.
‘And on the inside? Tell me about your stepfather.’
‘I think he loved my mum. Or at least, his version of love.’ She yanked another tissue out of the box and blew her nose again. ‘Unfortunately he didn’t feel the same way about me. I suppose I was a constant reminder of my mum’s mistake. The one ugly blot on the otherwise perfect canvas of her life. Everything I did was wrong. He had a hideous temper.’
Jake felt his shoulders tense. ‘How terrible. Are you saying he shouted at you? Or did he…?’
‘Hit me? Was that what you wanted to ask?’ She finished his unspoken question and gave a wan smile. ‘Oh, yes. Often. But funnily enough that didn’t upset me as much as his contempt. He so obviously couldn’t stand the sight of me and that really, really hurt.’
‘Didn’t anyone know?’
‘I didn’t want to tell my friends, if that’s what you mean. And none of them would have believed me anyway. They all thought I was so lucky.’ She blew her nose again. ‘Big house. Fancy holidays. Keith was capable of putting on a very impressive act when he had to but he was always so unpredictable I didn’t dare take anyone home in case he lost his temper. So gradually I became isolated. They thought I was a snob who didn’t want to mix with them. I didn’t know how to make myself popular.’ She twisted the tissue. ‘And I suppose, if I’m honest, I didn’t think I was very likeable. Keith had a way of making you feel pretty rotten about yourself.’
Jake let out a long breath and ran a hand over his face. The thought of how she must have suffered made his blood heat to dangerous levels. ‘So that’s why you were so appalled when I hit your landlord.’
She gave a wan smile. ‘I suppose so. I’m not great with violence of any sort.’
Jake struggled to control his shock. She didn’t need him to be shocked, she needed him to be supportive. ‘Couldn’t your mother do anything?’
‘My mother didn’t want to do anything to wreck her newfound respectability. She was moving in circles that she’d considered totally out of her reach. I mean, imagine it…’ She suddenly sounded older than her years. ‘She left school at sixteen, pregnant, and here she was, married to a rich barrister. Quite an achievement, and my mother was very achievement-focused. All she really cared about was how it looked to other people. Marrying Keith was a way of wiping out the mistakes of her past.’
‘She condoned his behaviour?’
‘She said he was a very busy man with a stressful job and I ought to try not to annoy him.’
Jake gritted his teeth. ‘You didn’t tell anyone else? Your teachers? Your GP?’