The Midwife's Christmas Miracle (Lakeside Mountain Rescue 5)

‘Why were you worried? You’re a brilliant obstetrician and I’ve never known you worry about anyone before.’

He stared at her for a long moment and then he gave a humourless laugh. ‘I’ve never been called on to deliver the baby of the woman I love before. Believe me, it’s entirely different. Objectivity flies out of the window. I was scared to death.’

Her heart fluttered in her chest. ‘The woman you love?’

He shook his head and gave a weary smile. ‘I can’t argue this with you again, Miranda.’ He handed her the flowers and put the teddy bear down on the bed. ‘These are for you. I know you’ll be coming home later, but everyone needs flowers when they’re in hospital. And now I ought to go. I have a clinic and—’

‘The clinic can wait.’ She clutched the flowers against her chest, her breathing unsteady. ‘You haven’t told me that you love me since that night we made love. And yesterday, when the baby was born, you hardly looked at her. I assumed that I’d ruined everything. That you’d changed your mind. About her and about me.’

He was silent for a moment and then he ran a hand over the back of his neck, visibly tense. ‘Does it really make any difference how I feel, Miranda?’

‘Actually, yes, it does.’ Her voice cracked and she found herself hoping that the baby wouldn’t wake up for a few minutes. There were things that she needed to say, things that were so difficult for her she couldn’t risk being interrupted.

But Jake spoke first. ‘All right. I wasn’t going to say this now. Giving birth is an emotional time for a woman and I wanted to give you some space, but I may as well be honest. You’re right when you said that I didn’t look at the baby. I didn’t. And the reason for that was that I didn’t dare. I knew that if I looked at her, all attempts at being one step removed and functioning as an obstetrician would fly out of the window. You gave birth very quickly, Miranda.’ His tone was quiet and serious. ‘No end of things could have gone wrong and I wanted to make sure that they didn’t. I couldn’t afford the distraction.’

‘And that’s why you seemed so detached? Uninterested?’

He walked across to the window and stared out across the hospital car park. ‘I wasn’t uninterested.’

‘What then?’

‘It was self-protection.’ He turned. ‘Because if I’d looked at the baby then I would have fallen in love with her and I can’t afford to do that. It’s bad enough losing you, without losing her as well.’

‘Losing me?’

‘You’re moving out and you’re taking the baby with you. And I don’t know ho

w to stop you. I don’t know how to prove to you that I love you and I don’t know how to prove to you that I love your daughter.’

‘I thought it was too late. I thought you’d changed your mind.’ Miranda closed her eyes and allowed the happiness to flood through her. ‘All night I lay awake, fantasising about you saying those words.’

He frowned. ‘Why would you have to fantasise when you knew how I felt?’

‘Because I thought you’d changed your mind. You were so cool and detached when you delivered her, I thought that reality had finally hit home. It seemed as though you couldn’t wait to get the pair of us out of your house and into hospital.’

‘In a way I couldn’t,’ he confessed. ‘I didn’t want to put more pressure on you at that particular moment when all your attention should have been on your new baby. And you’d already made it clear how you felt.’

‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘That isn’t true. I told you about my fears. I told myself that I had to protect the baby at all costs. What I didn’t tell you was that I love you, too. I knew it weeks ago, but I knew if I admitted it you’d never take no for an answer.’

He stilled. ‘But if you loved me, why would you want me to take no for an answer?’

‘Because I have a responsibility towards my daughter. I’m responsible for her happiness. I thought that promise meant never marrying anyone.’ She put the flowers down carefully. ‘But then I realised that my daughter’s happiness might involve giving her an amazing father. You. I was ready to tell you last night but then I went into labour.’

For a moment he just stood there, staring at her, and then he muttered something under his breath, crossed the room and hauled her into his arms.

‘I can’t believe you’re saying those words,’ he groaned against her neck. ‘I’ve been planning my next move with the precision of a military campaign. I’ve been planning ways to persuade you to trust me enough to marry me.’

‘You don’t need a military campaign. I trust you, Jake.’ She slid her arms round his neck. ‘I love you.’

‘And I love you.’ He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her long and hard. Then he lifted his head and stroked her hair away from her face. ‘How could you possibly think my feelings had changed?’

‘I pushed you away—I assumed you’d given up.’

He gave a slow smile. ‘I don’t give up easily, sweetheart. You should know that about me by now.’ He studied her face for a long moment and his smile faded. ‘It’s important that you understand that. No matter what happens, nothing is going to stop me loving you and the baby. Nothing.’

‘You’ve no idea how it feels to hear you say that.’

‘Well, you’d better get used to it because I’m going to be saying it all the time. And what about you?’ He hugged her closer. ‘As a matter of interest, what changed your mind?’