‘Hayley, I’ve been trying to catch up with you all day.’ Patrick slung his coat over the back of the chair and strode across to her. ‘Where were you?’
‘All over the place. In clinic, then on the labour ward.’ Implying that her day had been one mad rush, Hayley smiled at him briefly and then turned her attention back to the chocolate buttons. Never had she paid so much attention to decorating a cake. ‘You must have just missed me. How was your theatre list? Any dramas?’ Did she sound normal? Was she doing OK?
‘No dramas.’ Patrick kissed Posy on the head, his eyes still on Hayley. ‘Are you feeling all right? Maggie said you weren’t too good earlier.’
‘She’s definitely not herself,’ Alfie said firmly, ‘because I’ve eaten five cakes and she hasn’t even noticed.’
Hayley bit back a gasp of horror. Five? He’d eaten five? ‘I assumed you must be hungry,’ she said calmly, desperately hoping he wasn’t going to be sick. ‘And dinner won’t be ready for another twenty minutes. Anyway, you’re old enough to judge whether or not you’re going to spoil your appetite.’
‘I’m only a day older than yesterday,’ Alfie said with faultless logic, ‘and you didn’t think I was old enough to judge then.’
‘Well, I’m not going to be around for much longer,’ Hayley said brightly, ‘so it’s good for you to learn not to eat too many cakes in one go.’
Her words were greeted by a stunned silence.
‘Wh-what do you mean?’ Alfie gaped at her in horror. ‘What do you mean you’re not going to be around for much longer? Why not? Where are you going?’
‘You advertised for a housekeeper for two weeks over Christmas and New Year.’ Hayley started to put the cakes carefully into the tin. ‘The two weeks is up in a few days’ time.’
‘But that was before we knew you. Now you’re here, we don’t want you to leave after two weeks. We want you to stay for ever!’ Alfie was frantic. ‘Tell her, Dad! Tell her we want her to stay for ever.’
Hayley knew she ought to speak but the lump in her throat was so huge she knew she was going to embarrass herself.
‘We’d like her to stay,’ Patrick said carefully. ‘Of course we would. She knows that.’ His eyes were on her face and Hayley dug her nails into the palms of her hands, wishing she’d come up with a more solid plan for dealing with their protests. But she honestly hadn’t known the children would care so much. And as for Patrick…
He wouldn’t want her to stay if he knew the truth.
‘It’s been fantastic.’ Somehow she managed to form the words. ‘Really—the best Christmas ever. But it was only ever temporary. And so is the work on the unit. I need to get myself a proper job. And I need to visit my family.’
‘But your family are mean to you. That’s why you didn’t want to go there for Christmas.’ Alfie was appalled. ‘Why would you want to visit them?’
‘Well…’ Oh, why on earth hadn’t she thought this through? ‘Nobody’s family is perfect. Now Christmas is over, I ought to see them.’
‘You can go and see them and then come straight back.’ Alfie looked at his father. ‘Dad?’
Patrick stirred. ‘Hayley is free to do whatever she wants to do,’ he said gruffly, and Alfie gave a choked sob, flung his cake onto the floor and stormed out of the room.
As always, Posy followed, dragging her velvet comforter behind her. ‘Alfie sad.’
Hayley stood up immediately, intending to follow, but Patrick took her arm.
‘Wait. What’s this all about? Why would you want to leave?’
She gave a tiny shrug. ‘It was only ever for two weeks and, let’s face it, you didn’t even want that! It was Alfie’s advert.’
‘Alfie’s advert ceased to be an issue a long time ago. Hayley.’ He frowned down at her. ‘Tell me what’s wrong. Has someone upset you?’
‘Gosh, no!’ She winced as she heard her falsely
bright tone. She wasn’t even fooling herself, so how did she hope to fool him? ‘Why would you think that? Who could possibly have upset me? Everyone is great. No, I just think it’s time to move on. It’s been fantastic, Patrick. A fantastic Christmas. This barn is just the perfect place, it’s just been—’
‘Fantastic. Yes, I got that. You’ve said it three times already. What I really want to hear is all the things you’re not saying.’ Patrick’s mouth tightened and his eyes were suddenly searching. ‘Is this about us?’
‘Us?’ How was she supposed to respond to that? OK, so definitely not like Hayley. She tried to work out what a twenty-first-century woman would say. What would Diane, her stepsister, say? ‘It was fun while it lasted, Patrick. But we both knew it wasn’t practical in the long term. We both have our own lives to lead. You have the children.’
‘I thought you liked the children.’ Patrick’s tone was cautious. ‘I was under the impression you liked them quite a lot.’
‘They’re gorgeous!’ Rubbish answer, Hayley, she thought to herself. You’re thinking like yourself, not like Diane. With a huge effort she forced herself to say words that were so alien it was almost impossible to voice them. ‘But I don’t know how you do it, Patrick. I mean, you have no time to yourself. No time to chill out. They’re always there!’