Christmas Eve: Doorstep Delivery (Lakeside Mountain Rescue 7)

Maybe she was being cowardly, leaving while everyone was still in bed, but she couldn’t face an emotional departure.

She’d written letters to the children and left them on the table in the kitchen. She’d tried to write a letter to Patrick but after about fifty attempts she’d given up.

At some point they’d have to talk, of course. They needed to sort out what they were going to do. He’d want access to his child and she wanted that, too. She didn’t want their child growing up not knowing his or her father.

And she’d do the right thing. Make it as easy as she could for everyone—try and get a job close by. Not too local—that would be asking too much—but close enough.

The crunch of tyres in the drive told her that the taxi had arrived and she took a last look around the barn before stepping out into the snow and closing the door behind her.

Jack, the taxi driver, waved from the car and she waved back, hoping he wasn’t going to ask her too many questions. Hayley felt as though she’d lived a whole life since he’d first dropped her here two weeks earlier.

She was four steps down the path when her legs went in different directions.

‘Oh, for—’ Bracing herself for impact, she screwed up her face but this time powerful arms caught her, lifting her upright before she hit the ground.

‘I don’t know how you think you’re going to manage without me,’ Patrick drawled. ‘You can’t even walk if I’m not there to catch you.’

Her heart pounding, Hayley clutched at him as he steadied her. ‘I didn’t know you were awake.’

‘I haven’t been to sleep. Have you?’

‘Well, no.’ She doubted she’d ever sleep again. The misery inside her felt so great she had no idea how she was going to cope. ‘Patrick, I have to go. Jack is waiting.’

‘He’s all right for a minute—you’re not running away from me, Hayley. Not before we’ve talked.’ Patrick was still holding her, his hands firm on her arms. ‘And we have lots to talk about.’

‘I know. I know we’re going to have to talk at some point, but I can’t do it now. I need some time—’

‘Time for what?’

‘Time to think! Time to—I don’t know. Time to get over you.’

Patrick inhaled sharply. ‘Why would you want to get over me?’

‘Because we can’t be together.’ Her voice was clogged. ‘And having your baby is difficult, but it’s my problem and I’ll sort it out.’

‘Problem?’ He frowned, his eyes searching hers. ‘You haven’t told me how you feel about being pregnant. Is it a problem, sweetheart? Is that how you feel?’

Her heart turned over. ‘No, of course not. It’s just…’ Just because of us, was what she wanted to say. But what was the point?

‘Hayley, I don’t want you to “get over” me.’ His lean handsome face was unusually pale, his voice ragged. ‘I want you to marry me. I told you that yesterday.’

‘I can’t marry you, you know that.’

‘I don’t know that.’ His eyes shimmered with raw intensity. ‘I love you and at first I couldn’t work out why you would possibly say no when I know you love me, too. I spent the night thinking about it. I spent the night thinking, Why would she turn me down?’

‘Patrick, you know why.’

‘When did you discover you were pregnant, Hayley?’

‘Yesterday morning in clinic.’

His eyebrows rose. ‘And you didn’t say anything to anyone? The one time you need some support—the time you needed to talk—you kept it a secret?’

‘It was too big to share.’

Patrick muttered something under his breath. ‘Nothing is ever too big for us to share.’

‘This was. I didn’t know how to tell you,’ Hayley said huskily, ‘What was the point in telling you?’