The Midwife's Marriage Proposal (Lakeside Mountain Rescue 3)

‘Clearly. As I said, you were amazing.’ He looked at her for a moment. ‘Didn’t you once think about all the possible things that could go wrong?’

She gave a faint smile. ‘Of course. And then I dismissed those thoughts. I’m a midwife. I’m trained to believe that childbirth is a natural experience. You’re an obstetrician. You’re trained to believe that you’re there to sort out problems. If there had been problems, I would have stood aside and handed over to you.’

Tom lifted an eyebrow. ‘You think I can perform a Caesarean with a bar of chocolate and a penknife?’

She breathed in. ‘I think you would have done whatever was necessary,’ she said simply. ‘I’ve never questioned your skills as a doctor, Tom.’

‘Your faith in me is touching, especially given the fact that I left you to do all the work.’ His firm mouth curved into a self-deprecating smile and she felt her heart kick against her chest.

She’d always loved his smile.

He looked wonderfully familiar in his mountain gear and she felt her memories collide inside her.

It seemed like yesterday that they’d sat here and planned the future.

Or rather, she’d planned the future.

A twinge of disquiet shot through her. She’d always talked about babies and family and it was only now that it occurred to her that Tom had said very little.

‘You never wanted it, did you?’ Her tone was hoarse as she voiced her thoughts. ‘All those things we talked about. You never wanted the family. For you it was all about the job. Your career. Becoming the best.’

Tom was silent for a long moment, his eyes fixed on her face. ‘That was part of it,’ he admitted gruffly, ‘but I wanted a family, too. One day. With a woman who loved me.’

She flinched as though he’d struck her. ‘Are you saying that I didn’t love you?’

‘I know you thought you did. But you were young.’ Tom turned to stare across the mountains, a muscle working in his rough jaw. ‘I was the first man who’d made love to you, Sally. And you were just eighteen.’

She tried to keep her breathing steady but the memories were too powerful. ‘You’re trying to tell me that I didn’t know my own mind?’

‘You were desperate for love and a family. And I understood that. You were moved from one foster-home to another. It’s hardly surprising that you dreamed of home and hearth. We were crazy about each other, but instead of enjoying the relationship you talked about nothing but babies and living together. I was the only man you’d ever been with. I was never sure if you wanted me for myself or because you saw me as a way to fulfil the dream you’d always had.’

She stood still with shock, frozen to the spot by his interpretation of what they’d shared, the delicate atmosphere between them shattered by his honesty.

He sucked in a breath. ‘You were afraid, Sally. You didn’t think you could exist on your own. You had no confidence or self-belief. Our relationship never would have worked under those circumstances. I was working hideous hours at the hospital and my mind was never on the job. I was always worrying about you. And all you could talk about was babies.’

She swallowed. ‘I didn’t ask you to worry about me.’

‘Well, I did.’ He rose to his feet and looked at her, his gaze direct. ‘You wanted a family to replace what you’d never had, and I was supposed to provide that.’

‘That’s rubbish.’ Her voice was hoarse and her heart was thumping as she backed away from him. ‘I loved you. You’re just trying to make yourself feel better about the fact that you ended it.’

He shook his head, his mouth set in a grim line. ‘Believe me, nothing could make me feel better about ending our relationship. It was the hardest thing I ever did. But I know it was the right thing. Especially now, when I see the person you’ve grown into.’

Pain shafted through her but she lifted her chin and stared him in the eyes. ‘That is so patronizing! So am I supposed to thank you?’ Her voice shook with anger. ‘Am I supposed to be grateful that you so generously threw away what I felt for you? You are so arrogan

t, Tom Hunter! You’re just justifying the fact that your career mattered more than I did.’

She stalked away from him but he grabbed her arm, preventing her escape.

‘That isn’t true.’ His voice was rough. ‘You want the truth? Well, the truth was I was always afraid that one day you’d wake up and realize that there was a whole world out there. A world that you hadn’t seen. I didn’t want you to be with me just because I was the first and only man you’d ever been with. I didn’t want you to be trapped with a young family when you were so young yourself. I wanted you to see life first.’

Her heart was thumping so hard that she felt strange. ‘I was with you because I loved you. You were my life, Tom. My whole world. I wasn’t interested in the rest of it.’

She shook his arm away and stepped backwards.

How could he even begin to justify the decision he’d made?

She still couldn’t understand how he could have wrecked something that had seemed so perfect.