Sally heard the agony in his voice and was silent for a moment. ‘That’s pretty tough.’
‘Yeah.’ James brushed his hand across his eyes and struggled for control. ‘And it explains a lot. Why I always felt different. They wanted stuff from me that I couldn’t do. My dad is a big footballer and he’s always saying, “Why can’t you be more like me?” and things like that. Well, it’s not surprising I’m not like him, is it?’
He opened his eyes and looked at her, and Sally let out a breath, knowing that it would be so easy to say the wrong thing. To make it worse. ‘I’m no expert on parents,’ she said finally, ‘because I never knew mine at all.’
He shivered inside the oversized jacket. ‘You were adopted, too?’
She gave a wry smile, aware that Tom was now behind her. She ignored him, sensing that they weren’t going to complete this rescue until James had been allowed to talk his problem through.
‘I wasn’t that lucky.’ She couldn’t keep the wistful note out of her voice. ‘In fact, my whole childhood was spent dreaming that someone would want to adopt me. That someone would like me enough to want me to be part of their family.’
How could it still feel so raw after all these years?
Why didn’t it ever go away?
She felt Tom’s hand slide around her shoulder and hold her tightly, and for once she didn’t feel like pushing him away.
James was staring at her. ‘You really wanted to be adopted?’
‘Oh, yes. I really did.’ She gave a wan smile. ‘People who adopt children really, really want them.’
James sat in silence, a frown on his face. ‘But no one adopted you?’
She shook her head. ‘No.’ She kept her tone light. ‘No one wanted me that badly.’
She thought she heard Tom swear softly behind her but she didn’t turn. All her attention was still focused on James.
‘So, if you weren’t adopted, who looked after you? Where did you live?’
She gave a casual shrug that belied the pain of her childhood. ‘With anyone who would have me. I was moved from foster-home to foster-home and spent some time in a children’s home. It was pretty grim. But I had good friends.’
‘Didn’t you ever wonder about your real mum?’
She nodded. ‘Of course. Who wouldn’t? But adoption seemed so special to me. It meant that someone had chosen you.’ She gave a wobbly smile. ‘I mean, that’s pretty amazing, don’t you think? A couple decide that you’re what they want, more than anything in the world.’
James was silent. ‘But my real mother gave me away.’
Sally nodded. ‘Maybe. Or maybe your real mother is the woman who fed you and changed you when you were a baby, who picked you up when you fell over and who now nags you to do your homework. Sounds to me as though she loves you very much.’
‘She should have told me before.’
Sally gave a wan smile. ‘Yes, she probably should. But I don’t suppose there’s ever a good time and nobody is perfect. Haven’t you ever done something and then wished you’d done it differently?’
James thought and then nodded. ‘I suppose so.’
‘I know I have.’ Aware that the temperature was falling, Sally reached for the boy’s hand and gave it a squeeze. ‘I know you’re upset and you’ve certainly got plenty that you need to talk about with your mum and dad, but you can’t do that up here.’
‘They’re going to be mad with me.’
‘And that shows that they care,’ Sally said quietly, still holding his hand. ‘They’re mad with you because they’re worried, and they’re worried because they love you. And I know you love them, too. And now we need to get you off this mountain. Lester’s hurt himself, James. He’s been a good friend to you and now you need to be a good friend to him. You need to come with me so that we can get you safely home and get Lester to the hospital.’
James stared at her. ‘He isn’t dead?’
‘No, sweetheart,’ Sally leaned forward and gave him a hug. ‘He isn’t dead. But we need to get him down.’
James closed his eyes and gave a choked sob. ‘I thought I’d killed him. He came up here because I needed a friend.’