The Midwife's Marriage Proposal (Lakeside Mountain Rescue 3)

The addiction was pressing in on her, temptation taking the shape of comfort.

But she recognized it for what it was.

Short-term relief that would bring long-term pain.

She couldn’t afford to give any more of herself to this man. So she fought hard against the temptation, determined not to yield. Determined not to be that weak.

If she allowed herself to need him, she made herself vulnerable.

This time when she spoke, her voice was steady. ‘Do you have time for a coffee before you leave?’

He swore under his breath and she saw the tiny muscle work in his lean cheek, a sure sign of the pressure he was under. ‘Don’t pretend it’s gone, Sally.’ His voice was rough. ‘What we have is so powerful that it’s going to exist whatever we do. It’s always existed. Do you know how hard I struggled to keep my hands off you until you were eighteen?’

Oh, yes, she knew. She’d worked extremely hard to make sure that his struggle was monumental.

She gave a tiny smile that was wholly feminine. ‘I seem to recall that I didn’t want you to wait.’

‘Well, fortunately, seducing a schoolgirl was one crime I managed not to commit,’ he muttered, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck in an effort to relieve the tension. ‘But I was always aware that I was the first relationship you’d ever had. In every sense of the word. You had no parents, no one who had ever given you a home. I always worried that you needed more.’

‘For me it was never about variety,’ she said coolly, ‘just about being with the right person. You were that person, Tom. All I ever needed was you. All I ever wanted was you. Unfortunately you didn’t feel the same way.’

‘I did feel the same way.’ His voice was a low growl. ‘But I was older than you. I wasn’t sure about your feelings. I felt a huge responsibility …’ He closed his eyes and his voice was hoarse. ‘I made a mistake, Sally, and if I could have my time again I’d do things differently. I’d be totally selfish. Lock you away and keep you for myself. But it isn’t too late.’

‘It’s too late for me.’

‘Is it?’ His voice was velvety soft and disturbingly male. ‘So have you found it again, Sally? The love that we share? Have you found it with anyone else?’

She could barely find her voice. ‘Shared. What we had is in the past tense, Tom.’

It had to be.

She couldn’t risk the same thing happening a second time.

‘Our love will never be in the past tense, and that’s what makes it special. No matter what we do, no matter what mistakes we make, it will always be there. It will always be pulling us together. Why do you think I’m not married, Sally?’

‘I really don’t—’

‘Because no other woman is you, and no other woman ever can be. And I’m going to make you trust me again if it takes the rest of my life to achieve it.’

She stood frozen to the spot, wishing he’d leave before she cracked and decided that the short-term pleasure was worth the price of long-term pain. ‘It won’t happen, Tom.’

‘It’s going to happen.’ His mouth came down on hers with a sense of purpose, his tongue dipping and coaxing in a slow seduction that was every bit as erotic as the fiery heat had been. ‘Can you live without this, Sally?’ His hand curved around her cheek and his eyes were half-closed as he kissed her, tasted her. ‘Without this you’re living your life in black and white, not colour. Is that what you want?’

She flinched and backed away, feeling the slow build of desire engulf her body again. ‘Sometimes colour blinds you to the true state of the world.’

‘Marry me, Sally.’ His voice was hoarse and urgent. ‘Marry me and we’ll be the family you always wanted us to be.’

Marry him?

His words drove the breath from her body and for a moment she swayed, drawn by the memories and the look in his eyes.

And then she remembered that this man was capable of breaking her heart and she wasn’t so foolish that she believed that marriage would protect her. Marriages ended.

If he’d let her go before, he could let her go again.

She drew in a breath. ‘I take it you don’t want coffee.’ She moved towards the door, ignoring her shaking legs and her thumping heart. ‘I’ll see you out.’

There was a tense, throbbing silence and then she heard the sound of him dragging on the rest of his clothes.