“You have to stop protecting her, Mags.”
“The day I stop protecting my child is never going to come.”
“You know what I mean. She knows she will always have our love and support, but we have to let her live her life the way she chooses to live it.”
“Even if that life is a million miles away?”
“That’s an exaggeration.”
“It might as well be that far.” She lifted the edges of the omelet and when she was satisfied she folded it perfectly. “Life can be tough, we both know that. You need family around you. What if she does settle there? What if they break up? What happens if they don’t break up, and have babies? I’d want to be able to help, but I won’t be close enough.”
“Wait—you’re worrying you might not be able to help with the baby they don’t have yet? You expend a huge amount of energy worrying about things that haven’t happened.”
“I don’t expect you to understand.” She slid the omelet onto a plate, sprinkled it with a few chopped chives and handed it to him. “All I’m saying is that it will be tough to support them from here.”
He put the plate on the table and sat down. “This looks delicious, thanks.” He picked up a fork. “And as for support, maybe they’ll live close to Dan’s mother.”
Why didn’t that make her feel better? Her mind raced ahead. Catherine was already arranging her daughter’s wedding, and there was every chance she’d be the favored grandmother. Maggie would be the stranger they saw a few times a year.
Who’s that, kids? No, it’s not a stranger, it’s your granny. Give her a hug and a kiss.
She imagined them recoiling, screwing up their faces as they tolerated a kiss from this semistranger.
A lump formed in her throat.
She wanted to tell Nick how it had made her feel, but she couldn’t find a way to say it that didn’t make her seem horribly small-minded. And maybe she was being ridiculous. Worrying about things that hadn’t happened. She did that a lot.
She poured the rest of the egg mixture into the pan, even though she didn’t have much of an appetite.
“Talking of tough stuff,” Nick said, “we need to fix a time to tell the girls the truth about us.”
“We can’t tell them yet, Nick.”
“Why not?” He took a forkful of fluffy omelet. “Neither of us has had an affair, we don’t hate each other, we don’t have any issues being in the same room. We’ll still be able to meet up at family gatherings and it won’t be awkward. Not much will change.”
Was he serious?
“Everything will change. We’re their parents, Nick! They see us as a unit. And maybe family gatherings will be amicable for a while, but in time you’ll meet someone. Then you’ll be bringing someone else and we’ll have to take turns and—”
He put his fork down. “Maybe you’ll be the one who meets someone.”
Where? How? She almost asked the questions aloud and then realized how sad they made her sound. She needed to build a new life. One that didn’t have Nick in it. She needed to join a choir, or learn Italian, or something. Anything.
After the wedding, she promised herself. After the wedding, she’d pull herself together. First she’d spruce up the house, then put it on the market and find somewhere smaller.
The idea of selling Honeysuckle Cottage made her feel physically ill. All the best parts of her life had happened here. Nick. Katie. Rosie. She still remembered the day they’d moved in. Nick, ducking his head to avoid the low beams. Fixing a gate across the stairs so that Rosie didn’t tumble down them. And hours spent in the garden, shaping it into the tranquil haven it was now.
There had been tough times, but the place was full of laughter and memories. All those things would be erased when someone else moved in. They’d see a dent in the wall and think it needed fixing. They wouldn’t smile, remembering that was where Rosie had ridden her bike into the wall on that Christmas morning when it had been raining too hard to go outdoors.
A new story would be written into these walls.
But that wasn’t her immediate concern.
“Hear me out.” She tipped her omelet onto a plate and grabbed a fork. “Whether it turns out to be a mistake or not, this is Rosie’s big day. This is all about her and Dan. A celebration. What do you think it will do to the mood if we announce our divorce at the same time?”
“If we do it today, then it won’t be at the same time. She’ll have had time to get over it.”
“This isn’t flu, Nick. You don’t ‘get over it.’ A divorce changes the landscape of our family. We all have to find a new way to be together. To fit. It’s going to be a massive adjustment.” Saying it aloud somehow made it all the more depressing. “And today she is going to choose her wedding dress. It wouldn’t be appropriate to spoil her day.”