A Wedding in December

“We are proud of you.”

“But I’m not sure I want to be a doctor anymore.” There. She’d said it. “And I’m sorry if you feel I’m letting you both down. If you feel—”

“Stop right there. Why would you feel you were letting us down? This is about you, not us. Your life. Your decision.”

“I’ve wanted to be a doctor forever. I’ve spent my whole life working to get where I am now.”

“And what? You think that means you have to carry on doing something that no longer fits with what you want?”

She swallowed. “You don’t think I’m crazy?”

“Crazy to contemplate a shift in career when you no longer love what you’re doing? Of course not. Crazy would be spending the rest of your life doing something because you’ve always done it.”

“It feels like a waste.”

“Nothing you do in life is ever wasted. Nothing.” He gestured to the sofa. “Let’s sit down for a minute.”

“You said you were proud of me.”

“We are proud of you. But not because you’re a doctor. Because you’re you. A smart, determined, dedicated young woman. It doesn’t matter what you decide to do, you’re always going to give it your all because that’s who you are.”

She decided not to tell him about the attack. Not because she wanted to protect her parents, but because she wanted to put it behind her. It was time to look ahead, not back. Still, it was nice to know she could talk to him if she ever felt the need. “I don’t even know what I want to do.”

“That’s because you haven’t given yourself time to think about it. Resign. Take some time off. Think about it. Give yourself space. If you decide to go back to medicine, fine. If not, that’s fine, too.”

Hadn’t Jordan suggested the same thing? “I could, I suppose. I have savings.”

“And we have savings, too.”

“Thanks, but I would never take your savings. I’m a grown woman, and if I decide to leave then I have to figure this out for myself.”

“Only you can do the figuring out, but we can all help with the practical side. If you wanted to come home for a while, you could.”

“And hang around while you two are kissing and cuddling?” She smiled and nudged him. “Thanks, but no thanks. And this isn’t the reaction I was expecting. I thought you’d be disappointed and disapproving. I thought you’d lecture me on throwing my life away and my training. But you almost sound as if you want me to leave.”

“What I want,” he said, “is for you to be happy. I found out a lot of things this week, but one of those things is that your mother doesn’t love the job she’s been doing for so many years.”

“Rosie told me about that.”

He looked at her. “She’s thinking about alternatives.”

“She is? Like what?”

“Not sure yet, but possibly something to do with landscape design. Garden design.”

“That makes sense. Good for her.”

“My point is, that you don’t have dependents, you only have yourself to worry about. There is no better time than this to make a change. Try something else. And if you want to go back to medicine in a year or two, you can do that.”

“You make it sound simple.” But hadn’t Jordan made the same point?

“I think the complexity is one of perception. You’ve worked hard for something. You’re struggling with the idea of walking away from it. But picture yourself twenty years from now, still a doctor. How does that look?”

“It’s not pretty.”

“There you go. You’re young, Katie. Take a risk. And get a hobby. Take up yoga. Join a choir. You used to be great at playing the piano. What happened to that? Travel. Do something wild. Buy a horse. Fall in love.”

Love.