Wish Upon a Star

‘Because it’s written all over your face.’

She chewed slowly on the pizza and then sucked her fingers. ‘We went out for a few more weeks and he persuaded me…’ She blushed. ‘I mean, I was obviously willing and—’

His appetite suddenly gone, Jake abandoned his slice of pizza. ‘He persuaded you to go to bed with him.’

‘Yes.’ She sat back in her chair and closed her eyes briefly. ‘I really want to tell you that I was madly in love with him but if I’m honest I think I was just incredibly lonely. And maybe that’s why I didn’t pick up any of the signs. I suppose I didn’t want to see them.’

‘What sort of signs?’

‘He always called me, I was never allowed to call him except on his mobile and that was usually switched off. We only ever met when he suggested it—’

‘Because he was married?’

She stared at him, stricken. ‘Is it that obvious to you?’

Clearly it hadn’t entered her head. ‘You’re giving me all the facts,’ he pointed out gently, ‘whereas you were only in possession of half of them and then only what he chose to give you.’

She shook her head. ‘You’ve no idea how many times I’ve gone over and over it in my head, wondering why I missed the clues. It seems so obvious now, but at the time—’

‘Passion can be a powerful emotion.’

‘There wasn’t that much passion.’ A faint colour touched her cheeks. ‘In fact, I—’ She broke off and he frowned.

‘What?’

‘Nothing.’ She gave him a smile that looked more than a little forced. ‘Anyway, the rest is pretty obvious. I discovered I was pregnant. He was completely horrified and suddenly produced a picture of his blonde wife together with four matching children. And that, as they say, is the end of the story.’ Her tone was light but he saw the pain in her eyes.

‘And how did you feel about being pregnant?’

‘At first panicky and very alone.’ She let out a long breath and gave a soft smile. ‘And then pleased. I know that sounds weird, but I was pleased. It just felt sort of… right. I can’t really explain it.’

‘He owes you maintenance at the very least.’

‘I don’t want anything from him.’ She sat up in her chair, dignified despite the pyjamas and the damp hair. ‘I’m used to managing on my own and that’s what I’ll do. The only difference is that now there are two of us to look after.’

‘So why the Lake District? What about your family?’ Why was she used to managing on her own?

Shadows flickered across her pretty face. ‘I don’t have any family,’ she said flatly, standing up quickly and helping herself to a glass of water. She kept her back to him. ‘I decided to move right away from London so I picked the Lake District because I’ve had a picture of it in my mind for as long as I can remember. I always loved poetry at school.’

‘Poetry?’ His own mind was elsewhere, sifting carefully through information. There was something about her answer that didn’t seem quite right. Or rather, there was something about the way she’d answered that hadn’t felt right. He knew instinctively that she was lying. But why would she lie about family? Had they fallen out because she was pregnant? Was she embarrassed about her family?

‘Wordsworth.’ She turned to face him, still holding the glass of water. ‘He lived here, you must know that.’

‘Of course.’ He gave her an apologetic smile. ‘It’s just that I was born here and you tend to take it all for granted after a while.’

‘Maybe.’ Her tone was wistful. ‘Well, anyway, it sounded like an idyllic place. A good place to bring up a child. And not as expensive as London.’

He wanted to know more about what had happened to her family.

It was clear that, if her family were alive, they wanted nothing to do with her. Or she wanted nothing to do with them. Jake tried to imagine sticking a pin in the map and then deciding to build a life in a strange place. Tried to imagine what it would be like to have no roots. ‘All right, I can understand you choosing the Lake District, but what made you choose that terrible flat?’

‘It was all there was at the time and it was cheap,’ she said simply. ‘It’s just me on my own and when the baby comes I’m not going to be able to work for a while so I don’t want to waste any of it now. I’m going to look for something else soon. Somewhere I can move to after the baby is born.’

His eyes narrowed. ‘How much are you paying in rent?’

She named a figure that seemed exorbitant for one dark room full of damp patches but he managed not to let his jaw drop. ‘Right. Move in with me and you can save even more money.’

‘You can’t be serious.’