How to Keep a Secret

Mack was probably with a friend.

Except she didn’t have any friends.

The anxiety was louder now. More insistent.

Mack was unhappy. She didn’t have anyone to turn to. And Lauren hadn’t managed to persuade her to open up and talk. Her mind raced ahead.

What if she’d done something awful?

Nancy removed her glasses. “Could she have gone to see Jenna?”

Lauren frowned. “How?”

“The same way she gets everywhere. On her bike.”

“That’s a long cycle. It would take her hours.” Still, Lauren texted her sister. “Did she seem quieter than usual to you last night?”

“Not that I noticed. She never says much.”

She used to talk all the time.

Lauren’s phone pinged. “She’s not with Jenna. I’m going to see if her bike has gone.” She hurried outside, trying not to let herself overthink.

Mack’s bike wasn’t there.

So she’d gone for a bike ride. That was fine.

But why hadn’t she told anyone where she was going?

Lauren tried calling again but it went to voice mail.

“What can I do?” Nancy’s voice came from the doorway. “Do you want to go looking for her?”

“Where?” Lauren’s mind was blank. She had no idea where her daughter was.

She could have been knocked off her bike.

She could be lying dead in a ditch.

Why hadn’t she at least left a note saying where she was going?

This was all her fault. She’d known Mack was miserable, and had failed to reach her. She should have tried a different way. She should have tried a million different ways.

“I’m a bad mother.” If someone had warned her parenting was this hard she would have insisted on using ten condoms every time she had sex.

“Stop it,” Nancy said. “Stop beating yourself up. You’re the best mother any child could have.”

“My daughter left the house without telling me where she was going. I have no idea where she could be. What does that say about me?”

“It doesn’t say anything about you. It says she’s a teenager going through a tough time.”

Lauren thought about all the things she and Jenna had done as children.

But they’d done them together.

That was different. Mack was alone. Grieving. Confused. Depressed?