The Magic of Christmas

‘Chloe!’ Genuinely shocked, Lara gave her a gentle shake. ‘Your dad adores you.’ She’d seen the evidence repeatedly.

‘No. He didn’t have any choice, Lara,’ Chloe sobbed. ‘She just walked out and dumped me on him. He always has to think about us. His whole life revolves around us. And I’m sure he hates being a parent as much as she did.’

‘No.’ Lara shook her head, appalled. ‘I’m equally sure that he doesn’t. He loves you.’

‘I make his life more difficult. I try not to, but—’

‘Is that why you’re always trying to please me?’ Christian’s voice came from the doorway, hoarse and disbelieving.

Chloe jumped to her feet in horror. ‘Dad! We didn’t know you were home.’ She made a frantic attempt to brush the tears from her face. ‘We were just—We were—’

‘Finally telling the truth?’ Christian’s face was white. ‘Chloe, how could you possibly think those things? What have I ever done to give you the impression that I don’t love you?’

His gaze slid briefly to Lara and she knew that he was thinking the same thing that she’d been thinking—that the intensity of their relationship had somehow communicated itself to the children.

Chloe collapsed onto Lara and started to sob again. ‘Mum didn’t want me and she’s actually related to me. It was all my fault you split up, because she got fed up with having a family. She told me that, if she had her time again, she wouldn’t have children. So why would you want to be stuck with me? I’m not even yours!’ She cried and cried and then Lara felt the bed beside them dip as Christian sat down.

‘Angel, we have to have a serious talk.’ He rubbed a hand gently down Chloe’s back. ‘Let go of Lara and stop crying. Look at me.’

‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’ Chloe clutched at Lara, crying so hard that she was almost incoherent. ‘I don’t mean to make a fuss.’

‘Chloe.’ Christian’s voice was firm and this time he put his arms round the child and lifted her onto his own lap. ‘Sweetheart, you have to try and calm down so that we can talk properly. You’re making Lara cry, too.’

‘Sorry,’ Lara muttered, wiping her cheek with the palm of her hand and giving him an apologetic look. ‘It’s just all a bit…emotional.’

‘Can everyone stop saying sorry?’ Christian gently but firmly held Chloe while she cried. ‘Please, try and stop crying, angel. I want you to listen to me. Let’s start this from the beginning. The most important thing to say is tha

t you are mine. And I don’t ever want you ever to believe anything different.’

‘But—’

‘You’re mine.’ Christian’s voice was firm. ‘Mine. Now, onto the second point. Your mother left, yes. But you weren’t to blame.’

‘Oh, come on, Dad.’Chloe eased away from him and gave a tiny laugh. ‘Mum hated being a mum.’

Christian shook her head. ‘She didn’t hate being a mum. It’s true that she didn’t like staying at home, but it was nothing to do with you, baby. Your mum was addicted to her work.’He hesitated. ‘It’s really hard to explain, but work made her feel good. It made her feel good in a way that nothing else did, including me. If anyone is to blame for the fact that she left, then it’s me. She needed something that I just couldn’t seem to give her.’

‘But the job was more appealing than Aggie and me,’ Chloe said in a soft voice. ‘“Having kids is relentless.” She told me that once. She said that having kids was all about putting yourself second. Now you’re the one putting yourself second.’

‘I don’t put myself second.’

‘You’re always thinking of us.’

‘Because I love you,’ Christian said, stroking her hair away from her face with a gentle hand. ‘Not because it’s a sacrifice.’

‘It must be a sacrifice. You’re not even my real dad. You’re only stuck with me because you married my mum.’

Christian’s jaw tensed. ‘I’m going to tell you something I should have told you years ago. I fell in love with you on the first day I met you, Chloe. You were so sweet, loving and thoughtful and such fun to be with. I never wanted to let you go. Don’t ever say I’m not your real dad because you’ll break my heart.’ His voice was hoarse. ‘You’re my daughter every bit as much as Aggie is, and no dad could ever love you more than I do.’

‘You don’t have to keep me,’ Chloe whispered in a small voice, and Christian was silent for a moment. Then he cleared his throat.

‘Sweetheart, I wouldn’t part with you if someone offered me the sun and the moon. You’re my family. Don’t you dare ever think differently.’

Chloe stared at him for a moment, her whole body trembling. And then she leaned forward and flung her arms round his neck. ‘Oh, Daddy, Daddy,’ she sobbed into his neck, ‘I love you so much and I’ve been so frightened since Mum left.’

Christian smoothed his hand over her head, his jaw clenched tight as he struggled for control. ‘I should have realised. I knew something was wrong but I just thought you were upset about your mum leaving,’he said huskily. ‘You should have told me how you felt. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. Because I think of you as my daughter, it didn’t occur to me that you’d be worrying.’

Chloe sobbed and sobbed. ‘I thought if I was bad I might have to leave you and Aggie and I love you both. I love you, Daddy.’