Woman in a Sheikh's World
Page 42
She’d spent the night with Mal. The whole night. Not just a few hours and not even just sleeping in the same bed, but with him, snuggled. Joined. And after months of trying to piece herself back together, piece by broken piece.
Warmth was replaced by dismay. What had she done?
It was like spending a year on a diet and then taking a job in a chocolate factory and binging from dawn to dusk. She was furious with herself—and with him for assuming that he could just pick up where he’d left off.
Panic exploded and she tried to wrench herself away from him but his arms tightened like a steel band, locking her against him.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘I’m suffering a serious case of morning-after regret. Let me go.’ Had he always had muscles like this? She strained against his hold but there was no shifting him.
‘You’re not going anywhere. If there are things you want to say then you can say them here.’
Pressed against his warm naked body with every passing second reminding her of last night and weakening her resolve?
‘Let me go.’
‘Never.’ He didn’t open his eyes and a slight smile tilted the corners of his firm, sexy mouth. ‘You are running away from me yet again like the coward you are.’
‘I’m not a coward.’
‘No?’ His eyes opened a fraction and he looked at her, his expression shielded by the thickness of dark lashes. ‘Prove it, habibti. Stay where you are. Do not create the distance your instinct tells you to create. Last night, for once, you were honest. Embrace it. Face the fear.’
‘Last night I was an idiot. And I don’t want this! I had it once before and it was truly horrible.’ She shoved him hard and sprang from the bed, her heart racing and panic gripping her like the talons of one of his falcons.
‘Horrible?’ His tone was several shades cooler. ‘You are saying our relationship was horrible?’
‘Not our relationship, no, the part when it ended.’ Flustered and confused and horribly conscious that she was naked, she grabbed the nearest item of clothing, which just happened to be his discarded shirt. ‘You just don’t get it, do you?’
He lifted himself onto his elbow, his inky black hair flopping over his forehead. The sheet drifted down, displaying packed muscle and abs as hard as steel. ‘Given that you were the one who ended it, no, I don’t.’
She thought back to that time and didn’t know whether to cry or punch him. ‘Never mind.’ The words were thickened around the lump in her throat and she pulled on the shirt, covering herself. ‘Forget it. I’d be grateful if you’d do your powerful Prince thing and call your helicopter. It’s time for me to go home.’
‘Wearing nothing but my shirt?’
‘I’ll change.’
‘Don’t bother. I’m not letting you go again.’ He was so sure of himself and who could blame him after the way she’d folded in his arms only a few hours earlier.
‘It isn’t your choice, it’s mine and I choose not to do this again. I won’t make the same mistake twice.’ But she’d already made it, hadn’t she? She’d already taken more than a few steps down that path. And the wounds of her healing heart were already bleeding again. And that was her fault. Despite everything, she’d allowed them to be ripped open a second time.
‘Are you pretending that we’re not good together?’
His lack of insight was like a punch to her belly. Her emotions overflowed. ‘You don’t have a clue, do you? You have absolutely no idea.’ She paced to the far side of the bedroom on legs that shook so badly she wasn’t confident of their ability to fulfil their purpose. ‘We’ve done this once before, Mal, and when it fell apart it left me in pieces. I was … was broken, and helpless and utterly pathetic and … God, I can’t believe I just told you that.’ Turning away from him, she covered her face with her hands. ‘Just stop this, please. I don’t want a post-mortem. Last night was last night but that’s it. That’s all it was. One night. No more. I can’t give any more.’
But it was too late. He was already out of the bed and next to her, gloriously naked and completely indifferent to that fact. ‘You were in pieces?’ The light humour had gone. In its place was nothing but raw emotion. ‘When were you in pieces? Because whenever I contacted you, you were the most perfect example of someone completely together. I did not see a woman in pieces, I saw a woman who didn’t give a damn. Until last night that’s all I’ve ever seen when I’ve looked at you.’
‘Well, what did you expect?’ She let her hands drop and she was yelling now, completely forgetting to lower her voice and incapable of playing it cool. ‘After everything I gave you, you did that to me.’
‘Everything you gave me?’
‘Yes.’ Her voice cracked. ‘With you I did something I’d never done with a man before—I gave you my heart and you sliced it up into a million pieces and served it up in public like chopped liver. “Here, look at this everyone, help yourself.”‘ That confession was followed by a horrible silence. She waited for him to say something but instead he simply stared at her, his cheeks unnaturally pale.
He swallowed, although that manoeuvre appeared to cause him difficulty. ‘You were the one who ended our relationship.’
‘And weeks later you were engaged to Kalila. And news of that engagement was everywhere. I couldn’t go on the Internet without having pictures of the happy couple flashed in front of my face. And everyone was watching me, waiting for me to fall apart. Everyone. It was like being an exhibit in a zoo. Do you know how hard it was to drag myself out of bed in the morning and face the world? Because I can tell you it was hell.’
He looked shell-shocked. ‘Avery—’