So much for putting on a brave face around her son. She’d never realised that the walls of their London flat had been so thin.
‘I don’t expect your mum really wants to think about getting married again at the moment,’ Joel said, his tone matter-of-fact as he finished his pizza. ‘Sometimes, if you’ve had a bad experience, it puts you off for a while, you know?’
Sam looked at him and nodded slowly. ‘I suppose so.’
Lucy was staring at the remains of her pizza without seeing it.
‘Don’t worry, Mum.’ Sam’s voice was comforting. ‘It’s OK by me if you don’t want to get married again yet. I’m just glad you’re not crying any more.’
She cleared her throat and looked at her son, aged six going on sixty. ‘Oh, good…I
…er…’
‘Finish your pizza, Sam, before it goes cold,’ Joel suggested calmly, gesturing to the waiter and ordering more drinks.
But Lucy couldn’t eat another thing. All she could think about was Sam. She hadn’t realised that he felt like that.
They left the restaurant and drove home, Lucy protesting that they still needed to pick up her car from the surgery.
‘I’ll give you a lift in tomorrow,’ Joel said, heading back for the flats.
Lucy barely said a word on the way home, her head clouded with worries and guilt.
Did Sam really miss having a daddy so much?
She’d tried so hard to make up for Tim leaving.
Was she really so miserable to be with?
‘Lucy…’ Joel’s gentle voice interrupted her tortured thoughts and she looked at him blankly. ‘We’re home.’
She looked out of the window, realising that she hadn’t even noticed the journey.
‘Oh, Thank you.’ She fumbled with the doorhandle, aware that Joel was frowning at her with concern. ‘Come on, Sam. Time to do some reading and then bed. What do you say to Joel?’
‘Thank you,’ Sam recited obediently. ‘But can’t Joel come in and read my story?’
‘No, absolutely not.’ Lucy bustled him out of the car and up the stairs to her flat. ‘Joel has heaps of other things to do. Say goodnight.’
‘Goodnight, Joel.’
She couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes, still painfully embarrassed by the things that Sam had said, but she felt his hesitation.
‘Goodnight.’ He seemed about to say something else but then gave a little sigh. ‘See you in the morning.’
And with that he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving mother and son together.
Joel sat in his penthouse, staring across the sparkling lights of the harbour. Normally the view helped him to relax, but tonight it was doing absolutely nothing for him.
He was too worried about Lucy.
She’d made it obvious that she’d wanted him to leave her and Sam alone together, and he understood that. After that heavy conversation at the table she had serious things to discuss with her son.
Sam.
He frowned, curious at how attached he’d become to the boy. And he loved Sam’s honesty. Unlike Lucy, who’d clearly been mortified by his announcement that he wanted a father, Joel had been intrigued and moved. Dealing with adults was so much more complicated, he reflected. They rarely said exactly what they meant and you were left trying to read body language. But children just said what was bothering them…
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.