Suddenly Last Summer (O'Neil Brothers 3)

“Of course it does.”

She advanced on him and stabbed him in the chest with her finger. “One day, Sean O’Neil, I will roll you in poison ivy and maybe then you will wake up. You are—you are—” she said something in French and he raised his eyebrows.

“Are you calling me an idiot?” He decided this wasn’t the moment to tell her she was sexy when she was angry.

“Yes, because you are. The reason your grandfather wants you to leave is not about you at all! It isn’t because he is stubborn, or because he doesn’t want you here, or because he is dwelling on the row you had, but because he is very afraid. He is afraid. And you would see that if you weren’t so focused on your own feelings.”

Silence settled between them.

The only sound in the night air was the soft slap of water against the deck.

“Afraid?” It was an explanation that hadn’t occurred to him. He thought of his grandfather, the strongest person he knew, and shook his head. “You’re wrong. Gramps is the toughest guy you will ever meet. I’ve never seen him afraid. Not when Tyler fell in the river as a toddler, not even when we came face-to-face with a bear in the middle of a trail on a camping trip in Wyoming when we were young.”

She waved a hand dismissively. “None of that is scary compared to this.”

“Compared to what exactly?”

“Sean, wake up! With a bear you can punch it on the nose or whatever, but with this—this heart attack, this silent scary thing that came at him from nowhere, this he cannot punch on the nose. Do you not understand that? He has no control over this. He cannot shout at it, hit it on the head or blind it with pepper spray. He cannot even see it.” Palms raised, Élise looked at him with exasperation. “What has happened has terrified him. Snow Crystal is his life. He is afraid that this will slow him down and change things and what is the first thing that happens when he walks back through the door of his own home? Everyone is telling him to sit down and not do anything. For Walter that is like telling him to just be dead already. He isn’t the sort of man who would relish living his life in a chair. He wants to be active. And so he is terrified. And the more terrified he is, the more aggressive and snappy he becomes.”

Afraid?

“I deal with people who are afraid

all the time. I know what fear looks like. He isn’t behaving like a man who is afraid.”

“You think because he doesn’t say it he doesn’t feel it? Maybe you are used to dealing with people who are afraid, but with Walter you switch off being a doctor and become his grandson. Instead of thinking about how you know so much because you’re this great big important doctor, instead of feeling guilty about the row, you should think about him and what he needs.”

“So if your theory is right and he’s scared, why is he sending me away?”

Her eyes were bright with exasperation. “Because having you here makes him feel more vulnerable.”

“More vulnerable? The idea of staying is that having me here will make him feel less vulnerable. It’s supposed to reassure him.”

“As far as Walter is concerned, you have been home once since Christmas and that was a fleeting visit. You do not spend chunks of time here.”

Guilt stabbed. “That’s true, but—”

“The fact is you don’t usually do this and suddenly you are doing it. So for Walter, he thinks you are agreeing to stay because you are worried about him. Instead of reassuring him, he is taking the fact that you are staying as a sign that he is going to have another heart attack. That you think he is going to drop dead. That everyone is waiting for him to drop dead. They are all hovering like blackfly. He is very afraid. He needs everything to be normal.”

Confronted by the very real possibility that he’d misread everything, Sean stood still. Why hadn’t that interpretation occurred to him?

What the hell sort of doctor was he?

“It’s possible that you’re right.”

“I am right. Now forget your stupid pride, admit that you messed up and let’s move on for Walter’s sake.”

He pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. He’d been so busy managing his own complex emotions he hadn’t analyzed the possible psychology behind his grandfather’s response. “If you’re right and my being here is making him more afraid, then I am in an impossible position. I should stay, but that will just make him worse.” Battling with the options, Sean tilted his head back and stared up at the sky, wondering if Galileo had found physics easier than human relations. “So I have to find another reason to stay. A reason that doesn’t involve him. A reason he’ll believe.”

She nodded approval. “Yes, so then he will not feel you are waiting for him to drop dead.”

“I could say I’m staying to reassure Grams.”

Élise rolled her eyes. “Then he will think you are ready to comfort her when he drops dead. That is not reassuring, as you would realize if you started thinking.”

“I am thinking!” Sean clenched his jaw and cursed under his breath. “And no one is dropping dead.”

“Good! So find a reason for staying that he will find plausible.”