Suddenly Last Summer (O'Neil Brothers 3)

“No, but I’ll be here next weekend. I’m taking Élise out to dinner so if you want to put dents in me, you should probably do it now.”

Jackson wiped his hands on his jeans. “From what I heard, she’s perfectly capable of putting dents in you herself. What did you do to her?”

“Nothing! Not that it’s any of your damn business.” Sean swore under his breath. “Is anything secret around here?”

“Not when you’re living in my house, trailing lake water into my kitchen and distracting my staff.”

“As it happens I didn’t do anything, but there was a time I probably did deserve it and didn’t get it so we’ll call it even. Can the restaurant survive without her on Saturday night?”

“If she says it can, then it can. She’s the one in charge of that side of the business. She’s been careful to put in a good staff so that the place doesn’t fall apart if she isn’t there. And she deserves five minutes off. I’m just surprised she wants to spend it with you.”

Sean gave a short laugh. “Thanks. I love you, too.”

He never said it, he realized. He never said those words to his family.

They all just took it for granted.

“So is this going to be a regular thing? You coming home more often? Because over the past couple of years I got the impression you’d rather be just about anywhere but here.”

It was the first time they’d addressed the truth so bluntly.

Sean felt tension ripple across his shoulders. “I’ve been busy.”

“Yeah, I get that. But we both know that isn’t what’s keeping you away.” Jackson kicked a stone with the toe of his boot. “You’re not the only one who misses him, you know. We all miss him. And Gramps probably misses him most of all.”

Sean felt a stab of guilt because he knew he’d been so focused on getting through his own grief he’d barely thought about anyone else. His strategy for survival had been work and absence. “We had a row. At the funeral.”

Jackson nodded. “I guessed there was something.”

“I said things—” The memory ripped through him, bringing with it the pain and the feeling of helplessness. “I was out of line.”

“It was a bad time for all of us.”

“I blamed him.” Sean pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “I said it was his fault. If Dad hadn’t hated being here so much, he wouldn’t have gone to New Zealand. Wouldn’t have been in that damn car and wouldn’t have hit the ice.”

“You know that’s bullshit, right?”

“Is it?” He couldn’t quite let go of it. It had played on his mind over and over again. Every time he was on the edge of bringing up the subject with his grandfather, that fact got in the way. “Gramps heaped pressure on Dad right from the start. All he ever cared about was this place.”

“Yeah, he cares about this place, but he was protecting the family home and business.” Jackson pulled the ladder away from the roof and lowered it to the ground. “Which is more than Dad did.”

Sean felt the anger spark. “He did his best.”

“Did he?”

“He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to spend his life doing this.”

“Then he should have stood up and said so. He should have had the courage to make that choice.” Jackson’s knuckles were white on the ladder. “Instead, he ran Snow Crystal into the ground. He should have told someone he couldn’t handle it, but he hid the figures from everyone, including Gramps. Gramps suspected, which is why he kept putting pressure on Dad to tell him the truth. Gramps was panicking.”

“Because he thought they’d lose the business—”

“Because he thought they’d lose their home! Everything! For fuck’s sake, Sean, think about Grams and Mom and all the people we employ. The truth is Dad had a responsibility and he ignored it. He took charge of the ship and then he stood there and let it sail onto the rocks.”

“That isn’t what happened.”

“Isn’t it? Were you here? Did you look at the books? Did you talk to Gramps about what was going on or did you just listen to Dad? Yeah, you two were close—I know that and I never had any problem with it, but it blinded you. You’re supposed to be a doctor. You’re supposed to be analytical and make judgments based on evidence, not emotion. Maybe it’s time you did that.”

Sean’s mouth felt as if he’d swallowed sand. The image in his head, once so clear, was blurry and distorted. “I had evidence. Dad used to call me late at night to offload. He told me Gramps was on his back the whole time. That he was doing his best but it was never good enough.”