‘I didn’t ask you, and my life is fine.’ Evanna sat back and gave a smile of thanks as Meg put the coffee in front of her. ‘We just had drinks. But it made me think. And I came to a decision.’
‘What decision?’
Evanna blew on her coffee to cool it and waited for Meg to walk away before she spoke. ‘I’m not doing this any more, Kyla.’ Her voice was firm and steady. ‘I’m not wasting any more of my life pining after a man who doesn’t even notice me.’
Kyla’s smile went out like a light bulb in a power cut. ‘You’re talking about my brother.’
‘Of course. Who else? Who else has there ever been for me?’ Evanna shook her head and gave a derisive laugh. ‘Ever since we played kiss chase in the playground, it’s been Logan. I’ve never even been able to see another man if he’s in the same room as me. And when he’s not in the same room as me, he’s in my head. Even when I close my eyes I can still see him. I can see his smile, I can see that wicked gleam in his blue eyes. I can see the way he walks as if he owns the world. And it’s a crazy waste of time, because he doesn’t even know I exist.’
‘He does know you exist.’
‘I mean as a woman. When it comes to seeing his patients, making his dinner or caring for his child, he knows I exist,’ Evanna said flatly. ‘When it comes to anything more personal, I’m invisible.’
‘He lost his wife, Evanna.’
‘I know that. And I also know that it was over a year ago and, sooner or later, he’s going to find someone else to share his life with. And no matter how much I dream that it might be, that someone is never going to be me. So I’m over him.’ She said it for herself as much as Kyla. To remind herself of all the promises she’d made to herself while she’d been away. ‘No more moping. No more pining. No more wishing for something that is never going to happen. I’m putting plan A into action. I’m moving on.’
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‘How can you move on? He’s a GP and you’re his practice nurse. We all work together.’
‘Of course I have to see him at work. And of course I’ll help him with Kirsty. He’s had a horribly rough time and he’s a single father now, so of course I’m going to help with his little girl. But I’m going to have my own life, too.’ She felt the confidence rise inside her and suddenly felt strong and determined. Everything was going to be fine. After all, she hadn’t seen Logan for a month and she’d survived, hadn’t she? There had even been moments when she’d enjoyed herself. A few seconds when she’d managed to forget about him. And she was going to build on that. Seconds would become minutes. Minutes would become hours. ‘I’m going to go out.’
Kyla raised an eyebrow. ‘With?’
‘I don’t know.’ Evanna sipped her coffee and gave a shrug. ‘Anyone who asks me. Nick Hillier?’
‘You fancy Nick?’
‘No.’ Nick was the island policeman and they’d been at school together. ‘Not really. It’s just that…’
‘It’s just that he isn’t Logan. Wow. That’s a really good way to begin a relationship.’
‘I don’t want to spend the rest of my life by myself,’ Evanna said softly, resting her cup carefully back in the saucer. ‘You asked me if I was broody and the answer is, yes, I’m broody. But not for a baby in isolation. I want so much more than that. I want to have a home and a family and a man who loves me, and I’m not going to find that while I’m blinded by your brother. I’ve been stupid about him, I can see that now. The way I feel about him has stopped me even noticing other men, but that’s going to change. When I was away, I managed to talk some sense into myself. I went out with the people from the unit and had fun. It was good. And I realise now that it’s up to me to build a proper life here and I’m going to do exactly that. No more waiting around and hoping. No more deluding myself. I’m really, really over him. Honestly.’
At that moment the door to the café opened and a man strolled in. He was taller than average, with lean features and a suggestion of stubble on a firm jaw that hinted at the stubborn. His hair was dark and slightly too long at the back, just touching the collar of the blue linen shirt that he wore tucked into a pair of light-coloured trousers. He had broad shoulders and blue eyes that were sharply observant, and all the females in the café turned to stare as he pushed the door shut with the flat of his hand and strolled towards the counter. ‘Hi, Meg. Can I have a round of toast, please?’ He spoke in a deep, sexy drawl and the coffee cup slipped out of Evanna’s shaking fingers and clattered onto the table, spilling the contents.
Kyla uttered a sharp expletive and reached for a pile of napkins, dropping them on the table as she tried to staunch the flow of coffee. ‘You’re over him?’ She kept her voice low so that no one else could hear. ‘If you’re over him, Evanna Duncan, why are you dropping things when he walks into a room? Plan A obviously isn’t working so I hope to goodness you have a decent plan B worked out in that head of yours, because it might be time to make the shift. For goodness’ sake—how much coffee was in that cup? It’s like a lake here.’ She mopped frantically but Evanna didn’t even notice. She was too busy trying to control the frantic shaking of her limbs.
‘I don’t— I can’t—’
‘Evanna?’ Kyla dropped more napkins on the soggy mess, but her sharp whisper held a note of concern. ‘You’re as white as chalk—are you all right?’
No. She wasn’t all right. Her pulse was thundering at a ridiculous rate and she knew that if she’d tried to stand, she would have sunk to the ground in a heap.
Oh, no, no, no! She’d thought she had her feelings well and truly under control. She’d thought—
Her thoughts froze altogether as Logan strolled over to them, a smile in his wicked blue eyes.
‘So this is where both my nurses are hiding. Now that I’m here, we could have a practice meeting. It’s long overdue.’
Evanna found it almost impossible not to stare. She’d always found it impossible not to stare at him. In primary school, when she’d been just five years old, she’d gazed at him from the corner of the playground—stared at the dark-haired, blue-eyed god who had come to collect Kyla from school. In secondary school she’d drunk in every detail with the dawning awareness that came with the onset of womanhood. And then he’d left the island to train as a doctor and had returned only for holidays and she’d stared at his photograph—the one taken on the beach during the summer that he’d been a lifeguard. His chest was bare and bronzed and he was laughing into the camera.
She still had the photo.
‘Evanna.’ His mouth moved into a smile and her gaze was drawn to his mouth. It was firm and sensual and, in her opinion, designed for kissing. Not that she’d know, she thought miserably as she tore her eyes away, because Dr Logan MacNeil had never kissed her and was never likely to. He’d kissed just about every girl on the island, but never her. He just didn’t think of her that way. In fact, it was probably true to say that he didn’t notice her at all. She was part of the island he’d grown up on, as much part of the scenery as the beaches and the mountains.
‘Can I join you?’ He spoke in that deep voice that always turned her knees to liquid and made her think of sex and seduction.