She smashed an egg and it landed in the bowl with a broken yolk and pieces of shell.
Jackson sighed and fished out the shell with a spoon. “What did that egg ever do to you? Calm down.”
“I’m calm.”
“Sweetheart, you’re shaking.” He covered her hand with his and rapped the egg on the side of the bowl so that it broke neatly. “There. E
asy.” His hand was warm and strong and suddenly she couldn’t breathe.
“I don’t know what any of this means.”
“It means we’re eating breakfast.” He squeezed her hand and then released it, removed bacon and added mushrooms to the pan. “Once a week I allow myself a heart attack breakfast. Today is that day. You can join me. Last night didn’t kill us—this might but at least we’ll die together.”
“I don’t eat breakfast.”
“You don’t sleep late, either, but you managed that.” His arm brushed against hers, and she realized how strange it felt to be standing side by side in the kitchen with a man, cooking.
“Jackson—”
He sighed. “Relax, honey. You feel out of control, but we can’t control everything that happens in life. Sometimes we just have to go where the tide takes us and know we’ll cope with whatever comes along.”
“I can’t live like that.”
“We all live like that. Control is an illusion. You think you’re in charge and then—whoosh—life happens when you’re not looking and you realize the best thing you can do is just roll with it.”
She wondered if he was talking about losing his father so suddenly. “I know there are some things we can’t control, but there are things we can control and I like to control those things. It’s what I do.”
“That’s because to you everything is work, but even that can’t be completely controlled. If it could, this place wouldn’t be the mess it is.”
She marveled at the way he handled the pressure. “I know you can turn this place around.”
“So do I. Unfortunately, Gramps doesn’t, which gives me a dilemma. Do I do what the business needs and upset him, or do I keep him happy and risk losing this place? It doesn’t give me pleasure to cause him this much stress.”
Kayla thought about the conversation she’d had with Walter the day before. “He worships you.”
“I don’t doubt that he loves me—” his tone was gruff “—but trust me to run this place? Make decisions and changes? No. And that’s the part that counts.”
She handed him a plate. “Have you tried talking to him?”
“I’ve talked to him a million times.” He slid the eggs onto the plate and added bacon. “It doesn’t seem to help.”
“He’s scared, Jackson. And you take him ideas that scare him even more, so he fights. Instead of talking about how you’re going to change Snow Crystal, maybe you should talk about all the things you love about it. Listen to his vision, and if it seems unrealistic, out of date, maybe you should find a way of helping him see that.” She shook her head, embarrassed. “Sorry. I know nothing about working with family. Ignore me.”
“No.” Frowning, he put the plate down. “You’re right. Our conversations are always about the changes I’m making. From the day I arrived back, eighteen months ago, it’s been about survival, firefighting, crisis management.”
“I suppose that’s inevitable.”
Jackson cursed under his breath and rubbed his fingers over his forehead. “I stormed back in here like some corporate warrior, sure I knew what I was doing, and sure I could fix things. I was so shaken by losing my father and the discovery that he’d left a mess, I didn’t tread sensitively. It’s no wonder Gramps doesn’t want me here.” He stood for a moment and then drew in a deep breath. “I’ll go and talk to him when we’ve finished breakfast. While I’m gone, take a shower and get dressed in something warm. I’m taking you skating on the lake. I promise not to let you fall.”
Kayla opened her mouth and closed it again. She was allowed some secrets, wasn’t she?
“Sounds like fun.” As he turned to her, her breath caught. “Jackson, do me a favor—”
He lifted an eyebrow and a wicked smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Again?”
“Very funny—”
His head lowered to hers. “What is this favor?”