Sleigh Bells in the Snow (O'Neil Brothers 1)

“Maybe I am. Or maybe I’m just good at knowing what I want. I think I fell in love with you the moment you landed on your back in the snow and laughed. Or maybe it was when you didn’t walk out on that first night, even though my family had been rude to you and you were desperate to get away from us. I know I loved you when I kissed you next to this waterfall. I definitely loved you when we spent the night together, and I think—” he paused, knowing he was taking a risk “—I think you love me, too.”

Silence stretched from seconds to almost a full minute.

Then she shook her head.

“No.” She planted her palm in the center of his chest, warding him off. “Damn it, no, Jackson. Don’t do this—”

“Don’t do what? Tell the truth about how I feel?”

“You can’t possibly feel that way. We’ve only known each other for a week. You can’t know that.”

“I know.”

“No—” Panic flickered in her eyes. “You’re a risk taker. That’s what you do. You leap off cliffs without knowing if you can land safely—”

“I’m still standing here, so that has to prove something about my judgment. I’ve never been afraid to leap, Kayla, but that’s probably because there’s always been a bunch of people cheering me on. I know you haven’t had that. And I know I’m asking a lot, but I want you to stay, Kayla. Stay and be with me. Don’t go.”

She gave a choked laugh. “Let me get this straight—you’re asking me to give up my job, a job I’ve worked almost a decade to get, a job most people would kill for, to come and live with a man I met a week ago?”

“I’m asking you to think about what you truly want. What truly makes you happy.”

“My job makes me happy.”

“Your job makes you feel safe. You feel in control and it’s important for you to feel in control.” He kept his voice gentle because he wasn’t sure she was ready to hear what he was saying. “You shut people out, because if they’re not in your life then they can’t hurt you. But that isn’t what happiness is, Kayla. Happiness isn’t simply avoiding unhappiness. You can spend your life dodging boulders or you can jump on top of one and take a look at the view. See what you’re missing.”

“Jackson—”

“You came to Snow Crystal because you were miserable. You were lonely. Is that really what you’re choosing to go back to?”

“You’re asking me to give up work—”

“No, I’m asking you to do a different job and do it here, with me. And maybe that doesn’t seem like much of an offer compared to being vice president—” he wondered who thought up those ridiculous damn titles that city marketing companies always used to seduce their staff “—but maybe, there is more to work than a title, a salary and a fancy corner office in a big city. You care about this place—I know you do. I don’t believe this is just another account to you.”

“I think—”

“I don’t want to know what you think because you have the ability to think yourself out of anything.” He pulled her against him, his mouth close to hers, “I want to know what you feel. Tell me what you feel.”

“Right now?” Her voice rose. “Sick.” She was shutting him down. Blocking him out.

“What has the last week meant to you, Kayla?”

“Damn it, Jackson, I warned you I don’t do relationships. You knew—”

“Yeah, you warned me—I broke the rules—” He knew he was pushing her, but he didn’t have the luxury of time and he figured he didn’t have anything to lose that wasn’t already lost. “But are you really telling me it meant nothing? You didn’t check your emails, Kayla. You’ve been laughing and sleeping late. When did you last look in the mirror? Your hair is curling and you have color in your cheeks. You look healthy! Maybe it’s time to take another look at those rules of yours. Maybe it’s time to take a look at a different sort of life.”

“You can’t— I don’t—” she breathed. “It isn’t possible.”

“I know my own mind, Kayla. And you know yours. The question is, will you believe what it’s telling you?”

“I’ve worked hard for what I have.”

“And what do you have, Kayla? A corner office? A stomach ulcer? A salary, but no one to spend it on except yourself? Is that really what matters to you?”

“I love my job.”

“Yes, but you’ve let your job fill your whole life because you’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t. You do that job out of fear. You work those hours out of fear, because you’re afraid that if you don’t keep moving you might just build connections with people, and the next step to that is becoming involved and that terrifies you. You ran away at thirteen and you’re still running away.”

Her face was so white it almost merged with the snow around her. “That isn’t true—”