Tyler, who hadn’t known he had a “cold look” felt a flash of guilt. Was that why she’d been so angry with him? Had he hurt her feelings? “I didn’t want it on the shelf.”
“So wait until she’s gone to bed and put it back in the cupboard again. Don’t make her feel bad!”
Tyler opened his mouth to point out that looking at the globe made him feel bad and then closed it again. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll apologize.”
“I don’t want you to apologize to make me feel better, Dad! You need to apologize because you’re sorry.”
“I’m sorry I upset Brenna. I’m not sorry I put that thing back in the cupboard.”
“You won that thing! You beat everyone else down the mountain. Doesn’t it make you proud? You should be boasting about it everywhere to anyone who will listen.”
Tyler pulled up near the school. “I don’t care what other people think.”
“Why? I don’t get it.” Jess looked at him, puzzled and out of her depth.
“That wasn’t why I raced. I know when I won and when I screwed up. I don’t need globes or medals to remind me. I wanted to be fastest down that mountain. That was all.”
The only sound in the car was his breathing.
“And you were. It’s hard, isn’t it?” Her voice was a whisper. “You always refuse to talk about it, but you hate that you can’t race anymore.”
Tyler opened his mouth to make light of it and then remembered what Brenna had said about open communication. “Yeah, I hate it.” The words were dragged from him. “Especially on a day like today when it’s snowing. It gnaws at my insides.”
“I wish it hadn’t happened.”
He stared at the road, surprised to discover that his throat felt scratchy. “Yeah, me, too, but there’s no point wishing something hadn’t happened if it already has. Waste of energy.”
“That sounds almost like grown-up advice, Dad.”
“Does this mean I’m getting good at this parenting thing?”
“You don’t totally suck at it.”
“Thanks. Feedback is important for improved performance.” He glanced at her and found her looking at him.
“You’ve never talked about it before.”
“Just to you, honey. Let’s keep it between ourselves.”
“Oh. S-sure, Dad.” She was stammering, her cheeks pink with pride. “I want you to know you can talk to me anytime.”
“Thanks, sweetheart.” He wondered what it was about kids that turned a man from tough to tender in a single glance. “And you can talk to me, too.”
Jess hunted for a grown-up response. “Life totally sucks sometimes.”
Was that a reference to her life or his? Because he wasn’t sure, he kept his response neutral. “It totally does. Things happen. Life happens. If you can’t change it, you have to get on with it, but if there’s something that can make it easier to handle, then you do it. Hey, listen to me.” He winked at her. “That was more grown-up advice. I’m getting good at this. I’m pulling straight As in parenting.”
“And not looking at the trophies makes it easier for you?”
“Some.”
Her eyes burned with love. “I’m going to lock them away where no one can ever find them. I’m going to put your gold medal in the trash.”
The passion in her was disturbingly familiar. “No need to go that far.”
“I’ve been wearing it.” Her eyes were huge with guilt. “I made you feel worse.”
“Having you around only ever makes me feel better. And you know what? I think you could have a medal of your own to hang round your neck someday.”