Linda touched Audrey’s hair. “I hated having red hair when I was your age. I was teased all the time. I wanted to be blonde. You don’t get teased?”
“Sometimes.” Audrey reapplied her mother’s makeup, her approach subtler than Linda’s.
“How do you handle it?”
“I can take care of myself.” Audrey styled her mother’s hair and stood back and admired her handiwork. “There. You look good.”
“You’re so much stronger than I was.”
“You’re strong, too. You’ve just forgotten it.” And if you stopped drinking it would help.
She didn’t say it again. Her mother was calm now, and Audrey didn’t want to do or say anything that might change that. They lived on a knife edge. One slip, and they’d all be cut.
Her mother studied herself in the mirror, touching her cheekbones with the tips of her fingers. “You’d better get back to studying. Thanks for your help.”
It was as if the emotional explosion had never happened.
Audrey returned to her bedroom and closed the door.
She wanted to cry, but she knew that if she cried she’d get a headache and then she’d fail her test. If she failed her test, she might fail her exams and she hadn’t come this far to fall at the last fence. A few more months and she’d never have to study again.
Half an hour later a deep rumble of laughter announced that Ron had returned home.
Audrey covered her ears with her headphones, turned up the volume on pounding rock music and drowned out whatever was going on in the room above her.
Only when she glanced out of the window and saw her mother and Ron heading out of the house together, hand in hand, did she finally relax.
Don’t blow it, Mum.
When she was sure the coast was clear and that her mother wasn’t about to return for a bag, a coat or any other number of things, she ventured downstairs.
She could hear a dog barking in the street outside, and one of her neighbors shouting at another. She didn’t know them. It wasn’t that kind of street. In this particular London suburb, people came and went and never spoke to their neighbors. You could die, and no one would know. It was one of the cheaper areas of the city, which basically meant you paid twice what you would anywhere else in the country and got half as much for your money.
Rain was sheeting down, obscuring the view from the window.
Hardy, their rescue dog, was curled up in the warmth of the kitchen but when he saw Audrey he greeted her like a long-lost friend.
Audrey dropped to her knees and hugged him. “You are the only thing about this place I’m going to miss. You’re my best friend, and I wish I could take you with me when I go.” She giggled as he licked her face. “I hope she gets out of bed long enough to feed you when I’m gone. If not, scratch at the door. Or bite Ron on the ankles.” She stood up. “Food?”
Hardy wagged his tail.
She put food into his bowl, freshened his water and was wondering what to eat herself when her phone buzzed. It was Meena, asking if she could come over so they could study together.
Audrey and Meena had both moved to the school two years earlier, at an age when everyone else was already in groups and cliques.
Their friendship was one of the best things about the place for Audrey.
Given that she was likely to have the house to herself for hours, Audrey messaged back a yes. She would never, ever have contemplated having a friend around when her mother was home, but she occasionally invited Meena, provided the house was empty. Her parents were both doctors and Meena had the kind of stable home life Audrey could only dream of. She had uncles, aunts and cousins and Audrey wanted to implant herself in her family.
She checked the fridge.
It was empty apart from two bottles of wine.
She’d asked her mother to buy milk and cheese, but instead she’d eaten the few things Audrey had stocked up on the day before.
Tired, Audrey grabbed the open bottle of wine and tipped it down the sink. It was like trying to bail out a sinking ship with an eggcup, but still she couldn’t help trying to fix the situation.
There was no time for her to shop, so she headed for the freezer. Fortunately the frozen pizzas she’d bought the day before were still there. She threw them in the oven and retrieved a packet of chocolate biscuits she’d hidden for emergencies.