Monica swallowed. “Surely David wouldn’t be that tactless?”
“He’s in love with another woman. I think tact has gone out of the window.” She twisted the edge of her coat with her fingers. “At dinner he kept rubbing his jaw. I thought he needed to see a dentist, but it turns out that can be a sign of a heart attack. I missed it.”
“Please tell me you’re not blaming yourself for that!”
“David was so stressed about hurting me, it brought on a heart attack. Even breaking up with me, he was inherently decent.”
“Grace, please. He was a heartless rat bast—” Monica broke off and lifted her hands in apology. “Sorry, but I can’t bear to hear you make excuses for him. How is Sophie taking it?”
Acid gnawed at her gut. Maybe she should see a doctor. “I haven’t told her yet.”
“What? Grace, she—”
“She needs to know. I’m aware. But telling her that her father had a heart attack and was in the hospital seemed like enough at the time. She’s upset and worried sick. I couldn’t bring myself to make it worse. She idolizes him. They’ve always been close.”
“You have to tell her, Grace.”
“I was hoping it might all get fixed and I wouldn’t have to.”
“He’s had an affair with another woman. Would you fix it if you could?”
“I don’t know.” It was a question she’d never thought she’d have to ask herself.
“You can’t, Grace. You’d never be able to trust him again. You need to boot him out. That’s what I’d do if Todd ever had an affair.”
Grace’s head spun. This was an aspect she hadn’t considered—that everyone around her would have an opinion. Whatever she did, she’d be the focus of gossip and judgment and she knew from experience that people tended to think that their way was the only way.
“I need to go.”
“Tell him how much he has hurt you. Tell him how you’re feeling.”
She didn’t want to be told what to do.
The fact that she felt the need to get away from Monica made her feel lonelier than she ever had in her life before. “If I cause him stress and then he dies, it’s my fault.”
Guilt. Blame. Responsibility.
An ugly sludge of emotions churned inside her, the same ones she’d felt when her parents had died. She knew you didn’t have to be directly involved to feel responsible. She’d had to live with those feelings, and David was the only one who knew.
David, who was no longer there for her.
David, who would now share secrets with someone else.
Losing that particular intimacy was the most painful thing of all.
A steady stream of people flowed through the revolving door at the entrance to the hospital, and Grace watched, wondering what their stories were. Were they visitors? Patients?
After he collapsed in the restaurant, David had been taken to the nearest hospital and rushed straight to surgery to have a procedure on his coronary artery. Or was it arteries? She couldn’t remember. Grace had sat on a cold, hard chair in a drafty corridor, feeling as if someone had lifted her out of her comfortable life and dropped her in a prison cell.
At some point during the night the doctor had found her, but his words had flowed past Grace like a river rushing over rocks. She’d heard blockage and a few other technical words that had meant nothing to her. She’d tried to pay attention, but her mind had refused to focus for more than a few minutes before wandering back to the fact that David wanted a divorce.
“David should tell Sophie,” Monica said. “He’s the one having the affair.”
Grace forced herself to move. “I’ll deal with that part later. He could be discharged tomorrow.”
“So soon? Please tell me you’re not thinking of taking him home.”
Grace paused with her hand on the door. “I don’t know. I’m taking this minute by minute.”