The Summer Seekers

And whose fault was that?

Liza swallowed. What had her mother said? Which part of your life is for you and no one else?

The answer was none of it.

She forced herself to take a hard, brutal look at the truth. Gradually, over time, they’d learned to expect her to do things for them. They didn’t see it as an act of love. They took advantage. Where are my jeans? Have we run out of milk?

The girls didn’t appreciate her affection or her interest. Stop the inquisition, Mum.

All she had to show for the last sixteen years of homemaking was two young women who expected her to cook their meals, do their laundry and be at their beck and call.

Right on cue, her phone rang.

Caitlin.

Liza reached out to take the call and then changed her mind. No. If she wasn’t always available, maybe the girls would start thinking for themselves.

She let the call go to voice mail and immediately felt anxious. What if it was an emergency? Or what if Caitlin wanted to apologize for her rude, selfish behavior?

Hating herself for not being stronger, she checked the message.

“Mum!” Caitlin’s voice barked down the phone. “I’ve forgotten to bring the school drama cup from home and it’s the last day. I’ll lose house points if I don’t, and everyone will hate me. I need you to drop it into reception at lunchtime.” There were giggles in the background and then the phone went dead.

Please, Mum. Thank you, Mum.

I love you, Mum.

Liza stuffed her phone into her bag.

It was time to make changes. And no doubt she’d pay a high price for that and life would be stressful for a while, but no matter how much unpleasantness her actions caused she wasn’t going to budge.

Fueled by anger and hurt, she drove to the school where she taught and arrived in the staff room just before the bell.

“One more day.” Her colleague Andrew was pouring hot water onto instant coffee. “The summer cannot come soon enough. You look stressed—everything okay?”

Everything was not okay, but she wasn’t going to say anything. She was upset, but that didn’t mean she was ready to discuss her teenagers in the staff room. Also, the conversation wouldn’t reflect well on her and she was already feeling like a bad mother without needing reinforcement from others.

“End of the school year. You know how it is.”

He probably had no idea how it was, but this was a staff room not a psychiatrist’s waiting room. Confessions weren’t appropriate.

He stirred sugar into his coffee. “You doing anything exciting this summer, Liza?”

Washing. Cleaning. Cooking. Organizing. Loading the dishwasher.

“Liza?”

She gave a start. “Sean is working on a big job right now, and then we’re going to France. You?”

“Jen and I are having two weeks touring the Greek Islands. First trip without the kids. Can’t wait.”

“You’re not taking the kids?” Liza decided she didn’t have time to wait for her coffee to cool, so she drank a glass of water instead.

“Phoebe has tennis camp, and Rory got a place on a youth orchestra so they’re both going to be away for the same two weeks. Jenny and I thought we’d make the most of it. Enjoy some couple time, you know?”

No, she didn’t know. But she’d dearly love to find out. But would that solve her problem? Maybe not. The truth was, she felt lonely. She didn’t feel close to her mother, she wasn’t close to the girls, and right now she didn’t feel close to her husband.

Andrew blew on his coffee. “Your girls doing anything this summer?”