A Proposal to Remember

Zan froze and her fingers tightened on the machine.

‘No, we don’t.’ She took several breaths and then lifted her chin. ‘Frankly, I didn’t even expect you to be at work. I assumed you would have gone back to your old life. Tell me, what name are you using today? Santini or Bennett?’

He flinched visibly and muttered something under his breath. ‘I asked you to trust me, Zan. I would have told you who I was. I would have explained everything if you hadn’t run away.’

Easy enough to say that now.

‘So, did they catch them?’

He shook his head, his dark eyes weary. ‘Not yet. Which is another thing we need to talk about. The police don’t think you should return to your flat for the time being. It isn’t safe. I want you to come and stay at my apartment.’

No way. It would be torture.

‘I’ve found my own accommodation.’

‘With Kim.’

Her eyes widened. ‘Are you still having me followed?’

He nodded. ‘And don’t expect me to apologise for it. I put you in danger, the least I can do now is keep you safe. I’m just sorry it ruined your Christmas.’

She felt tears prick her eyes. Oddly enough, it wasn’t the trauma of the break-in that had ruined her Christmas as much as his betrayal.

‘You should have told me the truth right at the beginning.’ Her voice shook with emotion. ‘You should have trusted me.’

‘I can understand why you think that.’ His voice was soft, his dark eyes holding hers, refusing to let her look away. ‘But maybe if I tell you a little bit about my life you might understand why I didn’t tell you straight away. And I was going to tell you, Zan. You have to believe that.’

She took a step backwards, unnerved by the way he made her feel.

‘Women get involved with me for all sorts of reasons, none of them the usual ones.’ Carlo’s tone was resigned. ‘Usually it’s because they find my wallet attractive, sometimes it’s the so-called status of being seen with me. I admit it’s been a long time since I trusted a woman. Not since someone I thought I was close to sold intimate details about my family to the press for a great deal of money.’

Zan winced. ‘That’s awful. But you know I wouldn’t do that.’

‘I think it’s unlikely, but you’d be amazed what people will do when they’re offered money.’ He sounded tired. ‘The truth is that part of me is still wary, and I wanted our relationship to develop before I revealed the reality. I admit that I really, really enjoyed the fact that you didn’t know who I was.’

Zan felt totally confused. ‘But what we shared wasn’t real.’

‘It was real, Zan. For me it was even more real because you didn’t know who I was.’ He moved closer to her, his voice low and urgent. ‘You spent time with me, away from the money and the crazy lifestyle. I always knew that we couldn’t live in a cocoon for ever, that sooner or later I’d have to tell you, but I hoped that by then what we had together would be strong enough to withstand the realities of my life. Unfortunately they intruded sooner than I’d planned and I didn’t have time to tell you the truth myself.’

She looked at him uncertainly, trying to think objectively and failing dismally. When he was this close she couldn’t think at all. She was breathlessly aware of his overwhelming physical presence, his masculinity and the unexpectedly gentle look in his eyes.

But he’d fooled her before. ‘Without trust there can be no relationship.’

‘I do trust you, Zan.’ His eyes were steady on hers. ‘Because you didn’t know who I was, I can be totally sure that what you felt was for me alone, not for my name or my connections. I trust you completely. Now it’s up to you to decide whether you can trust me.’

Could she?

‘How will I know that you’re not keeping more secrets?’ Zan’s voice was choked and he cursed under his breath and pulled her towards him.

‘Because from now on whatever I tell you will be the truth.’ His fingers tightened on hers. ‘The press print something different about me almost every day, just because of my name. Some of it is total fabrication, and some of it comes from people with a grudge. It doesn’t matter where it comes from; the press are constantly digging for dirt. No relationship of mine has ever survived the intense scrutiny that I’m subjected to on a daily basis. I swear that from now on I won’t hold anything back from you, but in return you have to be able to ignore all the things that people say about me. If you can’t trust me, Zan, we don’t stand a chance.’

Did he really believe that they might still have a future together?

Zan stared at him in confusion, but before she could answer the door opened and Nico walked out, looking tense. He said something to his brother in Italian and Carlo nodded.

‘We need to get back to Abby.’

Suddenly aware that they’d been having an intensely personal conversation in the middle of the corridor, Zan glanced around self-consciously and started to push the machine to Abby’s room.