And she felt battered and bruised even though it hadn’t actually happened yet.
Julia was frowning. “Flora, this is the first guy you have liked in a long time. Message him.”
“If he wanted to get in touch, he would.”
Julia thumped the bucket down. “I can’t believe he hasn’t at least called you. Men are spineless.”
“He’s not spineless. He is putting his kids first, which makes him a good dad.” Both the kids were probably now in therapy, thanks to her tactless intervention.
Her phone beeped. She fumbled in her and her heart performed acrobatics as she read the message. “It’s Jack. He wants us to meet in the park at lunchtime.”
“There you go. Great news.”
It wasn’t great news. It meant face-to-face rejection, rather than being dumped by phone or text.
The mere thought of what was to come made her hyperventilate.
How should she handle it?
The answer came to her in a flash. She’d end it with him, sparing them both the pain of meeting face-to-face and pretending everything was fine.
She’d call him right now, and she wouldn’t think about little Molly, with her pale face and faltering smile. Jack would never know that she was possibly in love with him, or that she’d had silly dreams about becoming part of his family.
She called his number, but he didn’t pick up. He was probably already on his way to meet her, determined to do the right thing.
Left with no choice, she headed to the park.
Braced for this to be their final conversation, she was startled when he swept her up and kissed her under the falling blossom. His mouth, his breath, his words all mingled with hers as he guided her back into the sheltered shade of the cherry tree with strong hands and an unmistakable sense of purpose. She felt the roughness of the bark against her back and the hardness of his body pressing against hers. She closed her eyes and there was nothing but scent and sensation, an almost agonizing thrill that she’d never felt before. She melted under the skilled stroke of his tongue, and the knowing brush of his fingers. Her tummy clenched and her blood raced and she felt a thudding disappointment that their intimacy had never extended beyond erotic kisses. He kissed her with such ravenous hunger and frantic desperation, she assumed it had to be a prelude to goodbye.
She was going to be the one to say it first. But not right now. In a moment. It would be criminal to cut short a kiss this good.
“I missed you.” He kissed his way from her mouth to her jaw, and from there to the delicate point where her neck met her shoulder. “And I owe you an apology.”
She was struggling to think let alone talk. “Mmm?”
“For not getting in touch. I had a crisis at work, and then I had a parent teacher conference at school because Molly isn’t doing so well, and between one thing and another time vanished.” He dragged his gaze from her mouth to her eyes. “Single parent issues. I’m trying to be Mom and Dad.”
“I understand. And I think you’re doing an incredible job.” And she had to end it right now before she fell any deeper.
“I’m not so sure. I forgot to take Dizzy the giraffe when we went the store yesterday. I underestimated the role he plays in each shopping expedition. I bought a brand of yogurt that apparently everyone but me knows is ‘yucky,’ and I left Molly’s drink at home so I grabbed something from the shelf that I was later told had so much sugar in it her teeth will probably fall out by Friday.” He kept his arms round her. “And then there was the conversation. I wasn’t expecting to have to answer a question about where babies come from in the baked goods aisle.”
“She asked? Oh that’s adorable.” End it, Flora! Just end it.
“In a very loud voice. She saw a baby in a stroller. I tried telling her that the baby had come from the car just outside, but she didn’t buy it. She wanted to know its entire life history from conception to birth.”
Flora could picture Molly, wide-eyed, and Jack, stumbling and fumbling. Even in her current state of stress, the thought of it amused her.
“I assume you do know where babies come from?” They were breaking up and she was flirting? She was treating this like a final fun date. Was she a masochist?
“I have a vague clue, although I confess that the sexual frustration I’ve suffered lately may have caused a degree of brain damage. In the end I gave her a very brief and basic explanation, based on advice given by a bunch of articles I found on the internet when I was searching on my phone while loading the cart with bagels. Again, the wrong ones because apparently we don’t eat whole wheat. In case you didn’t already know, there are a lot of ‘yucky’ foods on sale out there. I had no idea she was so fussy, but I didn’t used to do the shopping. And she’s having such a rough time I don’t want to take a stand over things like food.”
“You said she was having problems at school. Has something specific happened?” She promised herself that she’d end it just as soon as she’d had an update on his daughter.
He hesitated. “Nothing. Don’t worry. It’s not your problem.”
He was right. It wasn’t her problem.
End it, Flora, end it.