The world where Izzy couldn’t stand the sight of her.
“What were you thin
king?” Izzy exploded. “You hate water!”
It was a reasonable question, but Flora couldn’t answer. She had water in her ears and panic in her heart. It was racing so hard she wondered if she was having a heart attack.
She could hear Izzy yelling, and feel her hands gripping her arms. She was yelling something about life jackets, and something else that Flora didn’t understand. Her lack of response must have finally got through because Izzy drew breath.
“Are you okay? You look green. You’re breathing really fast. I think you should try to slow down. Sorry I yelled but you frightened the shit out of me.” She pulled Flora to sitting. “One of my friends gets panic attacks. Press the side of your nose. It will stop you taking in too much air. No, wait—” She scrambled to her feet and raced away, returning moments later with a paper bag. “Good job I made a picnic. Breathe into this.” She put the bag over Flora’s mouth and nose and encouraged her to breathe slowly.
After a few minutes the dizziness faded and Flora’s heart stopped racing. At the same time she noticed that the wind had dropped and the sun had come out. The lake sparkled in the sunshine but looking at it made Flora shudder.
There was no way she was going near a body of water ever again.
“So you didn’t answer my question.” Izzy slung a towel round Flora’s shoulders and squatted down next to her. “What were you doing in a boat on the lake?”
Flora coughed a few times. Had she swallowed the whole lake? “Looking for you.”
“Me? Why?”
“Because you were upset. I was worried about you.”
“I was fine. Totally fine. And I can’t believe you followed me when I swore at you.”
“You were crying. I wanted to check on you. I wasn’t even going to tell you I was there, but then I noticed a flash of blue on the island and knew it was your coat. And then I panicked in case you—” She stopped, not wanting to voice what she’d thought.
“In case I what?”
“I don’t know. I was probably being crazy, but it’s so isolated here. Such a horrible place, surrounded by water, and I thought maybe you—”
“You thought I was going to harm myself?” Izzy’s eyes widened and she rocked back on her heels.
“You were so upset this morning at breakfast. You looked so alone.”
“So how come you saw that and my dad didn’t?”
“Well I have a lot of experience in feeling alone.” Flora rubbed her chest with her palm, trying to ease the burning. “And I can see why you might have thought your dad was being insensitive, but I think in his very clumsy way he was trying to show you how independent he is, and how he can manage. He feels guilty that he’s put too much pressure on you this year. Also, he was focusing on making a cheese sandwich and remembering to pack a drink and men aren’t always good multitaskers. Gross generalization, obviously. But I think he was so determined to get it right and not forget anything, he wasn’t paying attention.”
“But you were paying attention.” Izzy gave up squatting and sat. She stared at the water.
“I wanted to help, Izzy. That’s all.”
“Er—correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I was the one who helped you. Rescued you.”
Flora coughed again and nodded. “Turns out my rescuing skills aren’t up to much.”
“I was on the other side of the island, eating my picnic, and I heard you shriek.”
Flora didn’t know whether to be humiliated or relieved. “A wave hit me.”
“I couldn’t believe it when I saw you in a boat. I thought you were done with people-pleasing. Was this another attempt to make friends and impress me?”
The sun was out again but Flora couldn’t stop shivering. “If I wanted to impress someone, I’d bake them a cake or arrange a bunch of flowers. I wouldn’t do anything that involved water. And I hope we’re already friends, at least a little bit. But even if we weren’t, I’d still want to check you were okay. Feeling alone and isolated is terrifying—and yes I’m speaking from personal experience—so if I can help someone not feel that way then I will. And I know I’m probably the last person in the world you’d talk to, but if you do want to talk, then I’m here.”
“Did my dad not try to stop you coming? Especially as he didn’t even think anything was wrong.”
“He doesn’t know. He’d already left the house.”