“She could have asked me. I’m her father.”
“She didn’t want to be the one to tell you her mother was having an affair and about to leave you. I sympathize with that. I made the same decision. Believe me, it wasn’t easy, only in my case it was just my ethics and principles that suffered. For Izzy it was far more personal. She was embarrassed by her mother, mortified, shocked, angry—you name it, she felt it. Mostly she felt insecure. She believed she had no right to be living in your home.” Clare couldn’t remember hearing Jack swear before, but she heard it now.
“How do you know all this? I didn’t know she was talking to you, although obviously I’m glad she was talking to someone.”
“I only found out today. I’ve tried to talk to her a few times, but she shut me down. Said she was fine.”
“Fine.” There was frustration in his voice. “I hear that word a lot. I’m starting to think that what it really means is ‘not fine at all, but I don’t want to talk about it.’ So why today? How did you suddenly persuade her to start talking?”
“I didn’t. She came to me and said she wanted to talk about Becca. I suspect you have Flora to thank for that.”
“Flora?”
“Funny isn’t it, that the one person Izzy held at a distance was in the end the person who got through to her. I don’t know what she said to Izzy. I don’t know what they talked about. I do know that something she said persuaded Izzy to open up.”
Jack walked the length of the deck and back again. “Flora kept telling me I needed to talk to Izzy, but I thought I knew better. I thought the best way to handle it was to give her space. I assumed it was all part of adjusting. Being a teenager.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. It was an impossible situation. You had no way of knowing she already knew. You didn’t want to upset her by telling her something she didn’t need to know. She didn’t want to upset you by telling you something you didn’t need to know. I think the time for rethinking that is past, Jack. All you can do now is move forward. I think if you tell her the truth, and yes I probably do mean the whole truth, in the end it will be easier. If Izzy knew that Becca had left once before, but that you had kept her, been there for her, maybe she’d feel more secure.”
“She has a home with me forever if she wants it. She can live with me until she’s wrinkled and her teeth fall out.” There was no doubting his sincerity and Clare smiled and put her hand on his arm.
“I hope she leaves home and has wild times and adventures. I hope she lives her life to the full, and then comes home and tells you all about it. I hope that sometimes she’ll show up here for our summer vacation, or at least for part of it. Sometimes all you need to give you a feeling of security is the knowledge that home is there for you. That the people you love are there for you. You don’t need to be with them all the time.” She could virtually see his brain working as he thought about it.
“I understand now why me bringing Flora home might have seemed like the final straw.” He was making all the connections, seeing the pattern. “Still more evidence that she was losing her place in my life.”
“It’s frustrating what the brain can imagine, and how our thinking and judgment can be distorted by our own fears. I think she feels guilty about Becca. She’s taking responsibility for it.”
“I’ll talk to her about that, along with all the other things.” He seemed to make a decision. “We might have to postpone dinner.”
“Mealtimes are somewhat fluid in this house as you’ve probably noticed.” Because she knew he was anxious to get back and talk to his daughter, she walked across the deck and took the steps to the path. “I like Flora by the way. I’m glad you brought her here.”
Jack smiled for the first time since the conversation began. “She’s the best thing that has happened to me in a long while.”
“She might be the best thing that has happened to my garden in a long while, too.” Clare stepped along the path, her heart and mood lighter, freed from the burden she’d carried for the last year. She felt very strongly that she’d found a friend. That she and Flora would be more than two people brought together because of family tradition.
The path opened up onto the garden and they walked across the lawn to hear raised voices.
Jack glanced at her. “Any idea what’s going on?”
“No. But that’s Aiden.” And he rarely, if ever, raised his voice. Maternal intuition made her walk faster, and she reached the terrace to see Aiden gesturing to Todd. He had the car keys in his hand and they seemed to be arguing about something. “What’s wrong?” There was always something, she thought. Life was less a roller coaster and more a series of hurdles, with no breathing room in between them.
Aiden looked stressed. “I was on my way back and I passed Izzy going in the other direction.”
“I don’t understand.”
“In a cab! She was in a cab. She turned her head away when she saw me but I’m pretty sure she was crying. Did something happen?”
Jack looked at Clare. She knew what he was thinking because she was thinking the same thing. Izzy was leaving because she believed she no longer had a place in the family.
The emotional side of Clare wanted to sob for the girl, but fortunately her practical side took over.
She pulled out her phone. “There is only one cab firm in the village. I’ll find out where they’ve taken her.”
“They won’t give you that information.”
“Of course they will. Todd gave the owner a friendly rate when he extended his house and I do yoga with his wife. Hello?” She was swift with her request and the response came back equally quickly. “They’ve taken her to the station.”
Aiden nodded. “I’m going after her.” He started up the garden but Jack stopped him.