Family For Beginners

“She was worried about me.”

“Oh right. Well that would explain it.”

“She fell in the water and totally freaked.”

“No kidding. I don’t suppose she’ll ever go near the water again.”

“I couldn’t believe she’d do that for me.”

“I can believe it. It’s how she is. She doesn’t make a fuss. She’s warmhearted and generous, and she genuinely cares about you. She had a tough time too when she was growing up.”

“I know. She told me a few things. And she showed me a picture of her mom.” Izzy fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “I saved her, kind of.” Did that sound boastful? She didn’t mean it to. It was her way of letting her dad know she didn’t want Flora to drown.

He stirred. “I’m glad about that, because I really like her.”

“You more than like her, Dad.”

“Right. Good point.” He cleared his throat. “I love her. Does that upset you?”

Izzy discovered that it didn’t, perhaps because of her own deepening feelings for Aiden. Love was incredible actually, although she was finding it almost impossible to write about. It didn’t make logical sense when you thought about it. But one thing she knew was that you didn’t have a choice who you fell in love with.

Thinking of that made her feel a little better about her mother. What had Aunt Clare said? She wasn’t a bad person. She just made bad choices. For some reason that made sense to Izzy. But the best thing was how easy it had been to talk to Clare—and she’d insisted Izzy had called her Clare. I’m not your aunt, but I’d very much like to be your friend.

Izzy no longer felt as if she was living on an island.

“It doesn’t upset me. I like Flora, although I’ve probably driven her crazy.”

“I’ve probably driven her crazy, too. And she may want nothing to do with me after this because I’ve messed up in a big way.”

“With Flora? How?”

“Because I haven’t told her any of this stuff about your mom, and I should have done. I should have shared it. And I tried to handle too much without involving her, and I’ve made her feel as if she’s on the outside.”

Izzy thought about what she knew. “That’s a biggie for Flora.”

“Yes. I should have shared more. I should have drawn her into the family more.”

Izzy felt a stab of guilt. “I pushed her away, so that’s partly my fault.”

“No, honey, it’s mine. It doesn’t matter what you said or did—I should have shared my worries with her, instead of trying to protect her and handle everything. I have to figure out a way to convince her she’s part of this family. And that I love her.”

She could hardly believe her dad was saying all this stuff to her. It made her feel ridiculously grown-up. And she didn’t want to blow it by saying the wrong thing. She wanted to say something wise and helpful, not totally lame. “I guess you should just talk to her. And listen.”

“I’m definitely going to start doing more listening. Always assuming Flora is still willing to talk to me.”

Izzy tried to imagine Flora not talking to someone. No matter how hard her mind worked, she couldn’t picture it. “Flora is very patient and kind. She’s not the sort to stomp out of the room and not listen. Just tell her the truth. Also, she’s nuts about flowers. She’d probably appreciate a bunch of those.”

He nodded. “That’s a good thought.”

Izzy sat there feeling like a proper adult for the first time in her life.

“You know, I’ve been thinking, maybe I will think about college. I mean, you haven’t given Molly ham in a while, so maybe she wouldn’t die if I left.”

Laughing, he pulled her closer. “I hope my parenting isn’t so bad that I’d accidentally kill your sister, but there’s no need to rush into a decision. Think about it. Take your time. If you need a listening ear then I’m here and I promise not to try to influence you in any way.”

“How are you going to manage that? You want me to go to college, I know you do.”

“Only because I want the very best for you, and I think it’s an experience you’d enjoy. But how will I not influence you?” He stretched out his legs. “I will pretend to be very calm and neutral about the whole thing, and work hard to keep all my parental panic on the inside. Parenting involves a lot of internal panic.”