“I wouldn’t have cared if you’d flipped,” Izzy said. “I wouldn’t have judged you. But I could have rescued you.”
“Not being able to do something you just have to try harder,” Molly told her. “That’s what Aunt Clare says.”
“And Aunt Clare is right.”
Molly clung to her hand. “If you want to try it again, I’m here and I’ll save you if you drown.”
She was surrounded by arms, legs and love.
And she realized that becoming a family wasn’t something that happened overnight. It took baby steps, patience, understanding and a willingness to forgive when things went wrong.
“If you cling to her like that she will drown.” Izzy gently prized her sister’s fingers away from Flora’s arm. “You’re a deadweight. But Molly’s right. If you’re going to do something that scary, you should have people who love you close by. So we’ll stay right here and you can pretend you’re on your own if you like.”
Flora looked at the three of them and then at the water.
“You’re here now,” Molly said, “so you might as well do it. Kick hard and use your arms. I try to copy Chase.”
“Which is why you’re never going to win any style points,” Izzy murmured.
With all of them watching her she felt self-conscious. “I really don’t think—”
“Just do it,” Jack said. “Do it, honey.”
“I know, we’ll swim, too.” Molly plunged into the water with joyous abandon, showering everyone with water.
With a whoop, Izzy did the same thing.
“And now you’re trying to swim in churning water.” Jack looked exasperated but Flora didn’t mind. If she was doing this then she needed to do it, and not care if she was splashed. She could still put her feet down. Jack and Izzy were capable of helping her if she got into trouble. There really was no risk, apart from in her head.
She leaned forward and slowly lowered her body into the water, feeling it close over her chest and then her shoulders as she kicked forward. Panic loomed in the background, and then she was swimming. Really swimming. Her body felt weightless. Panic was replaced by euphoria as she moved through the water, everything else in her world temporarily forgotten. She’d never felt this close to nature, or to her fears. Fear fluttered in her belly but she ignored it and carried on moving her arms and legs in a steady rhythm, feeling herself grow stronger with each stroke.
She didn’t know how long she swam, but it was long enough for fear to turn to exhilaration. Long enough for her to trust her body not to let her down. Long enough to know that the past wasn’t going to drag her down like a stone. Long enough to know that her belief that she’d never swim again had been wrong.
Life wasn’t static. Just because you were scared of something, didn’t mean you had to stay scared of it. She’d let fear hold her back, and she saw clearly now that it was fear that was behind her instinct to end things with Jack. Yes she was in love, but she was also scared. Scared that she’d made herself vulnerable. Scared that she’d fallen in love with his family, when he still saw her as an outsider. Scared that she’d trusted him with her secrets, when he hadn’t trusted her with his. But maybe he was afraid to do that. He was human, as she was. He had his own fears. Instead of walking away, she should talk to him. Tell him how it made her feel when he kept secrets from her. Use this rocky moment to understand him better, and help him understand her. Just as life wasn’t static, a relationship wasn’t static either. There were bound to be bumps along the way and they had to learn to negotiate those bumps together. It was a process. A discovery. An adventure.
She swam until her arms were tired and when she finally stood up she was laughing and so was Izzy.
“Well wow.” Izzy’s hair clung to her shoulders, wet and sleek. “So that’s swimming sorted. Next we need to give you kayaking lessons. Lesson one is not to drop the paddle.”
Molly was shivering, her skin blotchy and tinged blue from the cold. “I’m c-cold. Can I have hot chocolate?”
“Good plan. You and I will go indoors.” Izzy scooped her up and rubbed her back to warm her. “Flora and Dad need to talk.”
“Can I talk, too?”
Izzy glanced at Flora and then at her dad. “You’re not invited to this talk.”
“You should listen to him, Flora,” Molly said, her arms round her sister’s shoulders as she waded to the shore. “I think he wants you to marry us. We’d like that, too. And if we could have a dog, that would be good. I don’t mind if it’s a small one.”
“Oh my goodness, you don’t marry a whole family, you marry a person!” Izzy hugged her and scolded her at the same time. “Whatever you plan on being when you’re older, don’t pick anything that involves diplomacy.”
“I don’t know what that is.”
“That,” Izzy said with the superiority of the older sister, “is pretty obvious.” She reached dry land and set Molly down. Then she draped a towel round her shoulders. “You and I are going to make hot chocolate.”
Molly glanced over her shoulder to Flora and Jack who had also emerged from the water. “But—”
“With whipped cream.”