The Doctor's Engagement

Her breath was coming in rapid gasps.

‘Yes,’ she lied, not quite meeting his eyes. Because of last night nothing was ever going to be the same. She ought to regret it. But she didn’t. How could she ever regret an experience like the one that they’d shared. ‘We never should have done that.’

’Done that?’ One dark eyebrow lifted sardonically. ‘Done what precisely?’

Holly squirmed. Was he going to make her spell it out? ‘Done...what we did,’ she said lamely. ‘Had...sex.’

‘Had sex.’ His expression was grim. ‘I see.’

‘We’re friends and nothing more,’ Holly said firmly, gaining confidence as she voiced what she thought he wanted to hear.

‘Nothing more...’ His tone was flat as he repeated her words, and he stared down at her for endless seconds. Then he rolled away and got to his feet in one lithe movement, grabbing his boxer shorts from the back of the chair and pulling them on. ‘Well, I’m glad we’ve cleared that up.’

Holly clasped the sheet under her chin and stared at him anxiously. ‘We’re agreed, then? Does our relationship stay the same as it always has?’

‘Of course,’ he said grimly, yanking a T-shirt over his head with such violence that Holly expected the material to tear. ‘Why should one night of—what was it? Oh, yes, sex. Why should one night of sex affect a lifelong friendship?’

‘Why, indeed,’ she agreed nervously, wondering why he seemed so angry. He was virtually throwing things! ‘But...if we’re both agreed, why are you so angry?’

‘I’m not angry!’ He swept his watch off the table and glared at her. ‘Why the hell should I be angry?’

Because she’d made him do something he hadn’t wanted to do? Because she’d ruined their friendship?

‘I—I don’t know.’ She stared at him miserably. ‘I just don’t want things to change between us.’

There was a long silence while he struggled to control his breathing. ‘Dammit, why am I doing this?’ He raked a hand through his dark hair and sank onto the bedroom chair, his shoulders slumped. He suddenly looked weary. ‘Holly, I haven’t been honest with you, and it’s time I was honest.’

Holly felt as though she’d stepped under a cold shower. He was going to tell her that he could never love her because he was in love with someone else. He was making sure that she was in no doubt about the nature of their relationship. He always did that with women, she knew he did. So that he could never be accused of misleading them. Look at the lengths he’d gone to just to convince Caroline that he wasn’t interested in her.

Well, she didn’t need him to be honest with her. She knew that he could never love her but that didn’t mean she wanted him to spell it out. Not now. Not this morning. Not after what they’d shared last night.

‘No, Mark.’ She clutched the sheet to her breasts, her blonde hair tumbling over her shoulders. ‘You don’t need to be honest. I know how you feel.’

Mark frowned and leaned forward in the chair. ‘No, Holly, you don’t. I—’

‘Please, Mark, no!’ She clapped her hands over her ears and shook her head. ‘I just can’t bear to talk about this now. I just can’t bear it.’

Even though she knew he didn’t love her and never would, she still didn’t feel able to hear him telling her how much he loved another woman.

‘Holly.’ His voice was hoarse and she forced herself to look at him, to mask the pain in her eyes.

‘I’m sorry, Mark,’ she said softly. ‘I’m so sorry about everything.’

‘So you keep saying,’ he said wearily, his whole body tense as he stood up and strode across the bedroom, yanking open the bathroom door with a force that threatened to remove the handle. ‘I get the message.’

Wincing as the door slammed behind him, Holly stared after him, her heart sinking like a lump of lead. Was he cross because they’d made love, or because she hadn’t wanted to hear about the woman he loved?

How were they ever going to salvage anything of their old relationship after this?

* * *

She skipped breakfast and drove to the medical centre early so that she could avoid seeing Mark again.

She shut herself in her room, her heart sinking as she acknowledged that the situation couldn’t carry on for ever. Sooner or later she was going to have to face him.

The morning passed surprisingly quickly as she renewed dressings, took bloods, syringed ears and dealt with various minor injuries.

She was just giving advice to a tourist who’d developed diarrhoea when the phone rang. It was Mark.