Summer With My Dad’s Best Friend

I want to bash his skull against the wall for touching Jenny, but I think I’ve already put the fear of God into him.

“You ever touch anyone like that ever again, I’m going to find you and rip your balls off, do you understand me?” I growl at him.

The kid nods vigorously, and as soon as I let go of him, he runs back into the club.

I reach out to Jenny who is cowered against the wall, but when I touch her hand, she pushes me away.

“Why the hell are you here?” she demands.

I know she’s mad at me and she has every right to be. I fight the urge to take her and hold her against me and tell her how wrong I was for ever thinking I could let her go that easily.

“The boys said you guys went out to the club and I know how horny guys on summer vacation can be. You shouldn’t be out alone,” I say.

“I’m not alone. I’m here with Annie and Tulip.”

“Yeah? Were they going to protect you from that asshole who had his hands on you?”

She tries to walk past me but I step in front of her.

“Why do you even care?” she says, raising her voice. Not quite yelling, but far from the sweet, friendly Jenny I love. “Clearly you didn’t care the other night. And you haven’t seemed to care since then.”

I take her by the shoulders and force her to look into my eyes. “Of course I care, Jenny. That’s why I wanted you to stay away from me.” My voice is too loud. I’m yelling at her, but it’s not her I’m frustrated with. It’s my damn ex-wife and this whole situation. I hate that Jenny and I have to see each other in secret, and it has gotten to a point where we don’t see each other at all.

“Get in the damn truck. I’m taking you home.”

She wriggles out of my grip and gives me a look so angry it makes me grimace. “I’m not going anywhere with you. I’m eighteen. I can do what I want. You can’t choose to dismiss me, then tell me what to do.”

My frustration is about to boil over, and then suddenly that anger turns to regret and then grief. Jenny tries to get away from me when I go to grab her, but I’m faster than she is. When I have her in my grip, I kiss her. This time she doesn’t try to escape me. Her lips part and she sighs as though not kissing me had been hurting her just as much as it had been hurting me. It’s as if we’d both been holding our breath since we parted and this is the first time we’re able to breathe again. This kiss is the salve for the open wound not being with her has caused.

When we part, I brush the hair out of her eyes. She’s wearing too much makeup, I notice. She looks beautiful, but she’s so much prettier without anything covering it up. And I hate it because I know she put on all that makeup to attract other guys. I only want her to try to get my attention. No one else.

“You’re being reckless,” I tell her. “You could’ve been hurt. Or worse.”

“I’m not reckless,” she says, her voice coming out as a whisper.

“Yes you are. If you weren’t, you never would’ve tried to make things work with you and me.”

I kiss her again. This time it’s me being the reckless one. When our kiss ends, her eyes well up with tears and she starts to cry. I hate that I’m the reason for those tears. “I was so mad at you for pushing me away. I want to be with you more than anything. Why do you get to decide what’s good or bad for me?”

“Being with me will cause a rift that will ripple into all facets of your life. It will affect your friendship with my children, with your parents, and my ex will find a way to ruin you. That’s what she does. She hurts people.”

Jenny lifts her head stubbornly. The look on her face is meant to be tough, but it’s too cute for that and I try not to smile. “Being without you hurts more than anything your ex can do to me,” she says. “I love you. Isn’t that obvious? Isn’t that enough?”

Her words hit me like a brick to the heart. I know that I love her and I hoped that she loved me too, but hearing them and knowing it’s real changes everything. I’m both thrilled and horrified at the same time. The consequences of what our love could cause is frightening. Going through with this relationship could ruin everything for both of us.

“You’re better off with someone your own age, someone who doesn’t come with all this baggage,” I tell her. I hate every word that comes out of my mouth. It’s not fair that we have to hide anything. We’re both adults capable of making our own decisions, and yet our choices aren’t our own. Our choices affect everyone around us.