“I hadn’t thought of that,” Chandra said slowly. “She will be a termagant, that girl—she will have to be to survive John, if he continues the way he is going. He is becoming mean-spirited. All Lady Dorothy’s doing, of course. It’s true. I do not belong here, do I?”
“No. You belong in your own keep, where you are both mistress and wife. You belong where all loyalty is yours, not anyone else’s.”
“My father said that.”
“It is the truth. As I said, you are very lucky. Jerval is besotted with you. He admires you. He will treat you well.”
Chandra sighed. It was true, all of it.
“You do not think him a fine man? Brave? Honorable?”
“Aye.”
“I am glad you see him so clearly. I would not wish to see him saddled with a wife who would make his life a misery.”
Chandra swallowed. She had never thought to do that. Actually, she had never really thought about what her new life would be like at all. “I would not be that way—that is, I wouldn’t want to be that way, but—”
“Do you notice how the wind has just strengthened?”
“Aye.”
“And we are both bending so it won’t knock us off the ramparts.”
“Aye, we are both bending into the wind, and I am not stupid.”
“Bending to another’s wishes, not always insisting upon holding the upper hand, makes for more peace than strife.”
“Aye, I know.” Chandra sighed again. “It’s just that sometimes it is difficult to bend when—”
“When you feel threatened?”
She shook her head. “Oh, no.”
“Oh, Chandra, think of all the joy you can have with your soon-to-be new husband if you will
but allow it.”
“Let us go in now. I will speak to Jerval.”
“Thank you.”
“Nay, it is I who am grateful to have you with me even if you must always rub my nose in the dirt when I am in the wrong.”
Mary laughed at that, and Chandra realized it was the first time she had heard her friend laugh in a very long time. Since Graelam had taken both her and Croyland.
Chandra made her way through the hall, where at least fifty people were eating their morning meal, amid boisterous joking. When she reached Jerval’s chamber, one that he shared with Sir Mark, she paused a moment, hearing several serving maids giggling within.
Her knock was answered by Mark. If he was surprised to see her on the morning of her wedding day, he gave no hint of it. He said, smiling, “I have just got Jerval into his bath. Do you wish to see him?”
She nodded, waiting in the doorway until the two young girls, wet and laughing, slipped beside her. They both nodded to her, smiling and smug, rolling their eyes a bit, for they’d known her all her life.
“What is it, Ema?”
“He’s a lovely man, Chandra, just lovely.” And Ema laughed, poked Isabel in the ribs, and laughed some more.
“Mayhap too big,” Isabel said, winking at Chandra, then giggled behind her hand.
“He is large,” Chandra said, “but he is a warrior and one would expect that.” They both laughed even harder as they passed the corner out of sight.